The Monitor's American Idol Chat

“Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying Tonight” (Gerry and the Pacemakers) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Chris tried to shy away from the Justin thing, but he will not get out of the teeny bop thing. He is the centerfold in Tiger Beat magazine … is that still around? Chris once again chose a song that is very safe, does not show any vocals and he will rely on his looks to get ahead. He does not push the envelope. Sings and looks like he belongs in the boy band. I hear Menudo is making a comeback. The boys are so much more weaker than the weakest woman. SCORE: 5 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Guest coach Peter Noone (Herman) begged Chris Richardson to lay off the Timberlake. Chris obliged, and it made for a pleasing performance if not anything you’d mistake for “fun.” The song sounded like something playing over the loudspeakers at Dillard’s, and despite an earnest, mature rendition, Chris seems even more bereft of star quality when he can’t mimic his *NSYNC idol. Placing him next to the B.B. King-ish guitar player at the beginning made him seem even more like an amateur. SCORE: 6

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Yawn. I think I took a snack break. Sure he’s a good singer and did well, but if the judges say tonight was his best? Yikes. His song choice was safe, though pitchy at times, and overall made it through in one piece. But like the Gerry and Pacemakers, which could never quite catch up to the Beatles, Chris might not be able to catch up to the better singers in this competition. SCORE: 4 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: This song was a little boring, but I did like the guitar and the performance. This was definitely a different side to him. I have no comment on the vocal aspect of his performance. It wasn’t pushed — just a nice, controlled sound.  SCORE: 7 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: This guy needs to shave … call me old-fashioned, but the scruffy look is just not good. There are only few and far between who can pull it off. He needs to be bald by choice; it works for him. The song. No girlish screams here. I know he is a favorite, just not mine … SCORE: Lame out of 10

“You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me” (Dusty Springfield) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: What in the world happened? Did she not talk to the band during rehearsal? She was in a completely different key. Stephanie has been driven by her vocals, but the bottom came completely off tonight. The song was not what she needed. She needs to choose a soulful song. Sorry Stephanie, but there wasn’t any soul here. It really looked like her nerves overcame her. She did not perform like a person who is competing in American Idol. You are in trouble, Stephanie. SCORE: 4 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Knowing full well where this runaway train was headed, Lulu stabbed Beyoncé in the eye by comparing her to Stephanie tonight. Stephanie sang this torch song as if she were having a tapeworm pulled yard for yard out of her stomach. From the first note, she looked petrified in her turquoise tube skirt; each moment she tried to abstain from bursting into her usual vocal-run orgasms was excruciating for both her and us. Season 4’s Nadia Turner did a bang-up job with this same song, and that fond memory only emphasized what a humiliating stumble this is for Stephanie. Just to make sure she doesn’t get any sleep tonight, Simon topped it all off by telling her “I think you’re losing your soul.” See, Steph? Don’t mock the Request Line. SCORE: 3.5 out of 10

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: I definitely have to agree with Simon tonight. Stephanie is a good singer but is slowly falling through the cracks. Maybe this week’s theme threw her off a bit, but it’s obvious she’s a great singer and she needs to bounce back in to the ring. It was an appropriate song choice, along the lines of Motown as Dusty Springfield was known for, but it wasn’t an earth-shattering performance. She’s safe, though. SCORE: 4.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: She looks beautiful! This gal is so classy (could’ve done without the boots, though). Her last note went a little sharp. The song is great — it just wasn’t a great choice for her. Not my favorite performance. SCORE: 6 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: She needed more air in her voice … not enough volume. She blends in like a smoothie. Nothing really separates her from the others. Kinda liked half of the outfit… but not enough to make this song GRRRRRR….. the big guys are going to begin to trample her sweet voice. SCORE: 6 out of 10

“Time of the Season” (The Zombies) Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Blake is starting to come around for the guys. If anyone has a chance, it is Blake. He made an old song sound cool again. Smooth and jazzy. We really liked Blake’s presentation tonight. He did not change it like last week, but did make it his own. We believe he has figured out what making it your own means. Good job. That song could be on the radio. He added his beat, but not too much, just enough to make it his own. We had to rewind and hear that twice. SCORE: 7 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: “Don’t let ‘the business’ get in the way of the song,” Peter Noone implored, but Blake brushed off his pleas and gave us more obligatory beatboxing and another arrangement that felt oddly empty. Blake fared a little better tonight, his performance drifting occasionally into mesmerizing before descending back into vertigo. I recommended this song for Stephanie (who’s crying now?), but Blake charged it with a hint of the wistful Morrissey-esque style he sometimes feels like sharing. Even with the neato Wonderbread-logo lighting, Blake sank under the weight of his poor lower register and his pitiful dancing. SCORE: 5.5. I docked him a whole point for that Elvis move similar to the one Brandon Rogers did last week, the one he’ll regret for the rest of his life.

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: And then there’s Blake. I’m really not sure what to think of this boy band clone. I like him, or don’t I? I just don’t know. For his rendition of “Time of the Season,” I was entertained and pulling for him but I got worried with the range. Blake’s got great style, a very contemporary and marketable look, but I’m over the whole beatboxing. He will be a force to be reckoned with, I’m afraid, in the coming weeks. His charisma will take him pretty far. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10 

GLORIA CHEEVER: This was so provocative in such a subtle way. I really liked how he makes the songs his own. He is one talented guy! The dancing didn’t hurt, either. SCORE: 9 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: “WHO’S YOUR DADDY? Is he rich like me?” Not bad Blake. You got me sick of the beep-pooping and practically wiped it out. Good call. And super good song choice. He was (as the DAWG would say) “In the zone.” Tonight I think was his best….. very likeable. And a cool-cat-daddy-O performance. SCORE: 8 out of 10

“Diamonds Are Forever” (Shirley Bassey) Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: LaKisha should have paid attention to the instructions she was given. She should have chosen the second song. The song she chose did not have the intensity she had on the previous weeks. She is LaKisha and she has a great voice, but her song did not help her any. She also took a step backwards with her wardrobe. It was “sing a ‘60s song,” not look like the ‘60s. Good attempt, but we know she can do a whole lot better. SCORE: 7 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: LaKisha once again showed her utter disregard for the guest coach’s opinion by choosing this song over the one Lulu thought she should sing — unlike last week, it was a good move. This characteristically trippy theme from one of the early 007 movies gave LaKisha a chance to be someone other than Jennifer Hudson, producing some mixed results in the process. Her seldom-heard deeper notes were soothing but wildly off-pitch at one point. And even though she looked fetching in — you guessed it — lots of diamonds and a green dress that barely kept her mammoth breasts from crushing the audience, there were moments when she simply seemed absent. I liked the change of pace, but I wish she would’ve added more of her bawdy Miss Piggy outbursts to the mix. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Absolutely adored her song choice (and of course it reminded me of Kanye West’s version) but again, I agree with Simon. She aged a few decades and became this overzealous lounge singer-minus being draped on a piano. LaKisha has a set of pipes and competitive talent. She’s got to maintain that ‘wow’ factor to stay on top. Otherwise, Melinda will sniper her out of the competition. SCORE: 7 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: She looks beautiful! I love how this was presented — the lights, her jewelry. I don’t think it was her absolute best, but even on a bad day she can sound sensational. SCORE: 8 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT…….{{{{{TA TA TA TA TA}}}}}}}}…..007 at your service! As soon as I heard this song I dropped to the floor and began slithering across my tweed throw rug…. Looked up with a devilish half grin and then realized that my friends were not impressed… “wHaT tHe hEcK are you doing Maritza,” one asked as he sipped his SlimFast martini with a twist of marshmallow (don’t dare ask). Although I felt invincible for a second, LaKisha was, dare I say, not … to the judges. She picked a cool song, but a song that indeed made her sound old. Sorry Lakey, you get a … SCORE: 7 out of 10

 “Tobacco Road” (Nashville Teens) Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Everyone in this competition has a nook that is helping them push through the weeks; unfortunately, Phil does not. He did not choose a good song this week. His vocals had been better every week, but this song did not explore his vocals. Was a super fun song, but those are the ones people sing on their way out of American Idol. Phil is not a rocker and shouldn’t attempt to be one. We believe Phil is going home this week. We don’t see anything keeping him in this week. Sorry Phil. SCORE: 4 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: In the past Phil has reminded me of Steve Buscemi and Gizmo, but tonight it felt like watching the skeleton from A Nightmare Before Christmas trying to rock a blues revival. Phil was corny and manic where he needed to be smooth and nasty, and his “gritless” voice was neutered by the B.B. King lookalike guitar player. His voice works best with middle-of-the-road soft rock, plus he’s one of more rough-around-the-edges contestants who could benefit from a few more weeks to find his footing. As much as he’s grown on me, I think it’s back to sailing the ocean blue in an ice-cream parlor uniform for Phil after tomorrow. SCORE: 4

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Next. Seriously folks, when will this torture end? He’s a decent singer and picked an OK song but he stepped outside of his wholesome box and pretty much eased his way out the door. He has no style and lacks the edge needed to channel your inner rockstar. I’m afraid he’s a goner. SCORE: 3.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: I don’t like his outfit tonight. However, week after week, I comment on how much I like his voice. He has great technique! It’s never pushed. I hope he doesn’t go home. I think he has lots of potential. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: Beam me up, Scottie … you’re going home, Spock. Phil singing with backup singers. Phil screwing up the backup singers groove. Not the best choice of song. This guy kinda creeps me. He is soooo hit or miss. I am not impressed, just a bit freaked out. SCORE: 3 out of 10

“I Who Have Nothing” (Shirley Bassey) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: This is the person to watch out for. Women are so much more powerful than the men. She really listened and turned this song into a winner. She can sing! Her notes were so much in control and so smooth. Her great personality doesn’t hurt either. Awesome, Jordin! SCORE: 8 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: I’m just going to pretend Jordin never said the song that most described her as a human being is “I’m So Excited” by The Pointer Sisters. Jordin played for keeps tonight with a passionate performance that was miles ahead of the juvenile Disney retreads she’s done in the past. Even though she hasn’t been my favorite contestant, I predicted last week that she’s going to win this year, and tonight she managed to both confirm my forecast and suggest that she deserves it. She showed her immense skills as a singer, met the melodramatic song on its level and hinted at something resembling artistic vision. Or maybe the flat-ironed hair just threw me off. SCORE: 8.5 out of 10

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Love her! Hands down my absolute favorite. Jordin could’ve opted for a much cuter outfit, though she looked dazzling nonetheless. Her song, performed by the great Tom Jones, Shirley Bassey and Ben E. King, was moving and although dark, a tremendous performance. Simon says it was depressing (and it was) but tears will get you everywhere! With Jordin, she could be singing about the end of the world and I would love it. I truly believe she is Melinda’s biggest competition. SCORE: 8.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: She’s so beautiful! This was once again a fantastic vocal from her. There’s lots of power in that young voice. I’m glad she’s picking songs that show off her voice because I didn’t realize how exquisite her sound is until last week. SCORE: 9 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: WHO’S YOUR DADDY! Your still Maritza’s favorite since day uno! Woooo-whoo! The new hairdo make her look like a pretty version of Ugly Betty. I normally don’t like them ballads, but oh dear this one was one to hear again. She is winning this game, she has found her voice. SCORE: 9 out of 10

“You Really Got Me” (The Kinks) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Not matter what Sanjaya does now, there is no way he can pull out of this. Who was this and what did you do with Sanjaya? It almost sounded like someone else. Don’t get us wrong, it is still as awful as ever, just a different awful. Is lip-syncing allowed on AI? It almost looked like it. Sanjaya, GO HOME! The little girl crying is what is keeping him in week after week. There is no way we could ever put a song by him on the radio. Ya! SCORE: 3 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: “Crocodile Rock” by John Stevens. “Cry Ev’ry Mountain” by Anthony Federov. They left us sitting bewildered in front of our televisions, stunned at seeing human civilization sink to a new low, disturbed and exhilarated by the unrivaled joy we felt at being there to see it. And now, “You Really Got Me” by Sanjaya Malakar. Tonight, America’s favorite androgynous matinee idol gave us what will come to be known as the zenith of bad A.I. performances. The producers chucked the show’s last morsel of credibility into the bonfire and gave us exactly what we wanted: Sanjaya as the night’s “rocker;” Sanjaya completely abandoning the melody for a stupefying howl; but most of all, Ashley, her wide eyes alight with transcendence. Forget that it would have been jaw-dropping for any non-Idol watcher who just happened to flip the channel. Forget that it’s a huge step forward for Sanjaya, who countered weeks of whispered ridicule by dropping an atom bomb on America. “I think the little girl’s face said it all,” Simon said. Folks, this is as good as it gets. SCORE: 8 out of 10. “8?!” you ask. Trust me. This was a classic.

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Does his mother know he’s playing “rockstar” tonight? Pobre. OK, so he broke out of his shell a bit, but he butchered one of the best Kinks songs ever. I think we’ve come to a point where we don’t pay much attention to this young singer, hoping his turn will be up soon. Trust me, it will be soon. SCORE: 3.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: Well, this was much better, but still a little scary. It was pushed, but his performance has improved somewhat. He still has a lot of work to do, but at least we could hear him this week. SCORE: 5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: …………….. Howard Stern, stop it already. OK, OK … now I think I want to even vote for this guy. Sanjaya, you need to send Howard a big basket of dollars and beer. His little fan in the audience is the crazy now. But oh soo cute… this guy has the vote. Heck if he ran for president … OK I wont go there. SCORE: 5 for making his fans cry of happiness out of 10  

“Paint It Black” (The Rolling Stones) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Our rocker girl. She is still trying to prove she is a rocker, and too much at that. We know you rock, Gina, show us something else in that leather. It was very high energy, and we know this was a rock song, but too much of a rock song for AI. Tone it down a bit and show us what you can do. You are very good and have seen better. SCORE: 5 out of 10 BRANDON GARCIA: Gina did her best to “devour” the Rolling Stones’ “Paint It Black” as Lulu suggested. I would have chosen “Gimme Shelter” for some depth, but she couldn’t have asked for a better tune to establish her image as the goth-rock chick. Gina’s performance proved once again how difficult it is to do rock on Idol. Like Phil but not as bad, Gina lost track of the melody amid the blaring noises of the band on overdrive. Simon noted that some parts were “moments of complete torture,” and while that phrase makes me smile, I didn’t agree, and I thought she did a superb job with the end. SCORE: 7 out of 10. I should dock a half-point for meeting her criticisms with the standard “Well, I had fun” answer, but oh well.MIRIAM RAMIREZ: I think Gina forgot she could sing. And unfortunately channeling her inner Rolling Stone didn’t help much. With Gina, Simon says it’s style over content and I somewhat agree, but just because she’s got a few red highlights and a couple studs in her belt doesn’t mean she’s gotta be the next Joan Jett. I think Gina is confused about what direction she should take musically. She has a few more shows on her side but Gina is no American Idol. SCORE: 4.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: The vocal was good — but I didn’t love the performance. I think she should’ve taken it up still another half step. She had a hard time on the low notes. I like Gina — I hope she stays. SCORE: 6 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: Bad girl. Bad song choice … bad, bad, bad. Yeah this is up her alley, but sang so wrong. Off key, and out of tune. I wanted to smack her with a big mop named Sanjaya. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, no. SCORE: 4 out of 10

“She’s Not There” (The Zombies) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Thank god the glasses are back. We don’t know what he was trying to do. We are still on the Chris bandwagon, but it’s time to turn it up a notch. C’mon, Chris. Use the stage; you don’t have to high five everyone. Show us some power behind that voice. It is lacking. Our Chris is back, but he is starting at the beginning and has to work this way up again. SCORE: 6 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: My advice for Chris S. was to get over himself when he takes the stage, and he listened. He’s the first contestant this year to perform entirely on a cheesy promenade through the audience. While he loses himself on the bombastic chorus (as he’s done before), he voice is note-perfect on the verses, and it’s a very good fit for the song. And while I didn’t feel one note of sadness in Chris’ rendition of this lovelorn tune, I did appreciate the return of his snarky attitude. SCORE: 7.5 out of 10. A free half-point for “Bring Chubby Back.”

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Doing a Zombies song is tough, so I’ll give Fro Patrol some credit. But Chris to me is one of those performers that needs a few more years to hone in on his talent (meaning sing in a few cover bands to realize he has some talent). I liked him a lot at the beginning of the season but he hasn’t done much for me lately. He can carry a tune well and seems like a wonderful person so I hope he’s not given the boot just yet. He’s too nice. (I wish I was) SCORE: 4 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: This was OK for me. The song showed off his voice — but it still wasn’t my favorite. He is a great singer, though. SCORE: 5.5 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: Singing= good, Boring= yes… I thing this guy is good but is a flatline. No more standing out in a good way. He’s not going to make it to the end because he is not eye candy. I like his song choice very much so, but the American Idol vote is just not strong enough for this guy. ttfn…. SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

“As Long As He Needs Me” (From Oliver!) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: WOW! What can we say about Melinda? She is somewhere else. She should not be in this competition because it’s not fair for the others. She is a woman among kids. She wraps you in her voice like a used San Marcos blanket. She really kicks it up a notch a là Emeril. We are so excited to see what else she has coming. Melinda … you rock! SCORE: 9 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: “Me? Talented?” I’m no longer buying Melinda’s aw-shucks act. She’s easily the best singer in the crowd and it’s impossible to believe that she doesn’t realize that, especially when everyone — the viewers, the judges, the media — is talking about her. Tonight she gave her weakest performance yet, which in perspective is still light years beyond some of her opponents’ best work. And not coincidentally, she was meeker than ever, even adding a dash of The Goonies’ Sloth to her incredulous face. She claimed she was out of her comfort zone, but this is a Broadway/cabaret song over 40 years old — how is it any different than anything else she’s sung? How does this torch song even count as British Invasion material? Melinda is playing the Idol game: She absolutely must seem like an underdog if she hopes to win. No one in their right mind would wear that hideous gray smock on national television without an ulterior motive. It made her boobs look like really high lonjas. If that isn’t enough to earn her personal “stylist” a trip to the gallows, I don’t know what is. SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: I like the sign in the audience tonight, “Melinda Do Lots” which explains to what height Melinda will go in her career. She owns this competition, vocally, but the question still remains if Melinda can carry herself off the stage too. As Idols, they have to be charming, energetic and steal the spotlight … with Melinda I want to shake her up a bit and tell her to buy some confidence on the way in. Modesty is one thing; sheepish personalities are best left for backup singers. (Gosh I’m on a rampage tonight, people). Melinda has nothing to worry about (except her wardrobe) which means she will be around until the deciding vote. SCORE: 8.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: What was she doing as a back-up singer?! Lord, this girl can sing! Week after week, she comes back and just brings it! Boring song turned fabulous! I think she’s going to take this. I love how you can see the story in her eyes — that makes a good performer great. SCORE: 9 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: She is a good singer, yes we have established this. In a league of her blah…. The best blah….. Come on Melinda….. gimme some funky crazy song… not this beautifully predictable bologna. And the surprised looks…. Sigh…. Stop.. or you’re getting some Sanjaya slaps too. SCORE: 7 out of 10  MIRIAM RAMIREZ: I have to say I wasn’t too disappointed tonight. I consider myself a pretty tough pseudo-judge (as if I have any singing experience) but being around music nearly all of my life, I know what I want to hear. I want to be entertained and I want singers to convince me that they are as passionate as their audience. I worry some of these guys and gals are trying too hard to impress and forgetting about their passion for music. Though I agree with Simon about 99.9 percent of the time, being the best singer isn’t ALWAYS the deciding factor. I know it’s early, but some of these people don’t have that “star” quality…and I hope they can prove me wrong. Melinda is by far, the best vocalist … but Jordin has charisma and it’s easy to fall in love with her. These two will go head-to-head in the end…

BRANDON GARCIA: Jordin Sparks, for connecting with me on a (relatively) emotional level. Several others who were just as good.

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Jordin Sparks, Melinda Dolittle

GLORIA CHEEVER: Jordin Sparks

BRANDON GARCIA: Stephanie

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Phil Stacey, Sanjaya Malakar, Gina Glocksen

GLORIA CHEEVER: Sanjaya Malakar

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Phil is going home.

BRANDON GARCIA: Phil. Each year we get one “terrible” singer in the Top 12, and in the past they’ve usually been sent home the week they did their best. But Sanjaya’s performance lies beyond the boundaries of logic, and I think he’ll survive. Sucks for Phil.

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Phil Stacey or Sanjaya Malakar

GLORIA CHEEVER: Gina or Sanjaya

MARITZA HAMILL: Gina Gina Bo Beana

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The Idol Chat judges are split between Gina, Sanjaya or Phil to head home tomorrow. Come back at 7:30 p.m. for live results. Much thanks to Miriam Ramirez.

BRANDON GARCIA: You know my sentiments on this theme week after reading my Request Line for tonight’s Diana Ross-a-thon. I wonder why the producers even try to hide their motives — it might as well have been Bind The Contestants Like Pigs And Whip Them Till They Pass Out Night. For modern-ish singers like Blake, Chris and Gina, it was pure torture. For LaKisha and Melinda, it was pennies from heaven. For everybody else, it was an easy way to expose their shortcomings. For those of us who like this show, it was another reminder of why so many people think it’s the joke of the music industry. At heart, tonight was a contest to see which Idol hopeful could seem least boring in the face of unblinking blandness.

GLORIA CHEEVER: My problem with “Diana Ross Week” is not the actual songs, but more that she is a legend and it is difficult not to imitate her. Personally, I don’t think I myself would be able to do any Diana Ross song justice. The producers of the show really need to stray away from asking these American Idol hopefuls to sing songs of artists that are in a league all their own. They should select themes that are more generalized, like they did on the first season such as: Big Band, Musical Theater, etc., so we can select a better-rounded American Idol. 

*Click on the contestants’ names to see their performances from last week. 

“You Can’t Hurry Love” Watch the original

 J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Not a very good start to the night. We have never liked
Brandon, and he showed us tonight he is not here to win, he is just here for the ride and the ride is almost over. Every week he talks about how he is going to be better next week, and that has never come around. We have yet to hear one good presentation from Brandon. Tonight he sounds like the cascarones my mother is making for Easter. All empty from the inside. All we see is the shell. He did not have any substance. No one can FORGET the words and be in the Top 12 of American Idol. SCORE: 3 out of 10 

BRANDON GARCIA: Diana Ross knew it was a lost cause to try to be the vocal coach — instead she opted for Zen guru, handing out ambiguous advice such as “go to your center … your heart place” like a fortune-cookie dispenser. “Background” Rogers was the first to take the Top 12 stage and will be the first of the Top 12 to go home. Even before I noticed he’s almost as tiny as Ryan Seacrest, I thought the stage dwarfed Brandon. He repeats Jared Cotter’s mistake of picking a white-bread song that even the old robotic-bear band at Fun Time Pizza would consider crusty and predictable. Add some of
Brandon’s unavoidably lackluster sound, and we get firm proof that he’s not going to get any better. Case closed. SCORE: 4 out of 10, and I’m not even deducting points for that Elvis move.

CHRIS BENITEZ:  Brandon was weak, forgettable and he screwed up a great song! This guy believes he is way better than what he is. Predicting who is going home has proved to be pretty tough, but this guy is definitely going home at some point, very soon. It even bores me just thinking of his singing. SCORE: 4 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: Yikes! Cracks in his voice (which he probably couldn’t control), notes that were too low, memory slips … I don’t think even the last note could save him. This was not a good start to the night. Eek… SCORE: 4 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: Oh, you CAN hurry love if you’re gonna sing like this. Boring, he started off the night and somewhat set the mood also. Or maybe im just fighting the flu? I think my congested ears made him sound extra lame. SCORE: 4 out of 10

“Home” Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Melinda looked a little weird, but right after the first couple of notes, she could have been wearing a toga and we would not have cared. Melinda is amazing. She is in a complete class of her own. The old sports cliché “she left it all out on the field” fits perfectly here. She had the out-of-body experience, and you could see it. Her emotions after she sang were very obvious; Melinda is definitely here to win. Powerful! SCORE: 9 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Melinda tries to out-LaKisha LaKisha with this torch song from The Wiz, the forgotten Afro-American version of The Wizard of Oz starring Diana Ross and a pre-psychotic Michael Jackson. It’s a fireworks display of a song — loud, pretty, but you can’t remember anything about it five minutes later. Looking like Lily Tomlin in 9 to 5, Melinda gave a heartfelt performance that left Paula Abdul in a mess of tears and mascara, but I was pretty unmoved. Though I think Melinda did just about everything possible to make it work, the song left me dry. She’s probably the best singer in the group, but I’m not convinced she’s going to win this year. SCORE: 7 out of 10.

CHRIS BENITEZ: Well, Melinda is way above everyone else, even without a neck : /.  I liked this performance — it’s crazy how she was so freaked out with the large crowd yet at the same time she looked like a pro while performing. She is so natural on that stage. Another great week for Melinda!!! SCORE: 8.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: She brought it again! Wow! It was a boring song, but she brings such a passion to the stage with her that you forget all that. SCORE: 8 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: Of course, she was goood. What did you think? Although the facial expressions I can do without, the innocent and surprised look is starting to become a bit predictable. “MELINDA, YOU’RE GOOD, STOP PRETENDING YOU ARE SHOCKED!” And I love you … SCORE: 9 out of 10

“Endless Love” Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: This is our boy — we have followed him since the beginning, but he let us down this week. Chris has a great voice, but he is trying too hard to be different that he forgets why he is there. Not because of how different he is, but because he can sing! Show us you can sing, Chris. The arrangement for this song just did not do it for us at all. Who arranged it? This song is too much of a classic to make it into a Coldplay remix. Chris should be here another week, but he has to step it up. We believe he is the only one who has a chance from the boys, but not at this rate. C’mon, Chris! SCORE: 5 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Chris took my advice and ditched the Rivers Cuomo glasses. He looked a little naked, like a plus-sized tortoise out of its shell, but I disagree with Simon — the glasses kept him from using his facial expressions as a performance tool, and he’s better off without them. I also thought Simon and the others displayed some unnecessary roughness in their criticisms. Chris made this hallmark of every late-night-lovers-by-the-fireplace compilation CD sound like one of the bonus tracks on a U2 greatest-hits album. All I know is that the original made me want to drown puppies, and Chris’ version only made me want to muzzle them. SCORE: 6 out of 10.

CHRIS BENITEZ: This is where I go back to what I said last week. I don’t know how much better Chris Sligh can get. I think it really is about picking good songs. So far, Chris has not shown anything all that impressive. I mean the voice is strong, and his pitch is good, although I do see a problem with his vocal range. He tries harder than anyone in my opinion; he even took the glasses off. I don’t mind that — that really is up to him. I like Chris Sligh, but I feel he needs to worry about his vocals more than anything else. That is what will get him places! SCORE: 6 out of 10 

GLORIA CHEEVER: This was a boring arrangement of the song. This sounded too much like Coldplay’s “Speed of Sound.” I was unimpressed and bored. I was initially excited to hear he was singing this song, but he completely botched it with that terrible arrangement. SCORE: 5 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: He tried to remake a song that sounded a bit dragged on. He was ok, but I’m not loving this guy. Maybe it’s the look that I’m not feeling. Dunno? Seems like that nice guy everyone wants to invite to his or her party to sing a few songs … and that’s it. SCORE: 6 out of 10

“Love Child” Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Our rocker chose the perfect song for her, but Diana pointed out at the beginning that the words had to be articulated only made it more obvious she did not do this. Some words were not understandable. She is a good singer, but this was all loud all the time. The highs were not very good here. Gina is a rocker and she will do better in other genres of music. She is in the Top 5. We just didn’t get what she was doing here. SCORE: 6 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA:  Gina’s close-but-no-cigar performance showed how deceptively simple some of these relic songs are. She swore up and down that she’d taken Diana Ross’ advice to tell a story, but can you recall the song’s epic tale after hearing Gina’s rendition? Didn’t think so, but that’s possibly because it doesn’t have one. Diana Ross Week was tailor-made to make an outsider out of Gina. But even though it’s obvious she’d be your typical Midwestern milkmaid minus the punky hair and duds, Gina is still one of the brighter crayons in this dull palette, and that really does count for something. SCORE: 5 out of 10. I’m finding it hard to dis the contestants tonight, probably because we share an equal loathing for these songs.

CHRIS BENITEZ: Singing Diana Ross songs is a task that is far beyond a lot of the contestants. Some benefit, some are not good enough and some just don’t go well with it. Gina Glockson just doesn’t go all that well with this style; the good thing is she got through positively. Her time will come; it just depends on what she sings. SCORE: 6 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: This wasn’t her best, but it was OK. I’m in agreement with Simon — it was not a memorable performance, but I am glad she kept with the “rocker” persona that was suggested for her. SCORE: 7 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: Wow, I hated her at first but this song was a better choice. She looks a lot more confident singing a song that was right up her alley. This suited her well. It’s about time! SCORE: 7 out of 10

“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” Watch the original

 J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: What is it going to take for this guy to go home? He must have some kind of curandero that is helping him out. He has NO BUSINESS on American Idol. We get so mad as he is performing just thinking he stole someone else’s spot who is 100 percent better than him. This was Amanda’s alltime favorite song, and he just ruined it forever. My poor T.V. took the brunt of the rage. We want to take this time and apologize to Diana R. for this. He talks about how he did not have any idea on what Simon was talking about. Yes, Sanjaya … you do not have a clue. Stop voting for him! SCORE: 1 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Sanjaya’s hair undergoes another daring transformation, cementing its status as the most adventurous player on American Idol Season 6. One night it’s Jessica Alba — the next night it’s Lamb Chop. Throw some Abercrombie on him and add two teaspoons of soul, and suddenly Sanjaya isn’t the joke he was two weeks ago. Sanjaya has set the bar so low for himself that this performance seems like a work of art in comparison. His hair needs to do the thinking from now on — it’s a crafty one, I tell you. SCORE: 4 Moment of the Night: Who wants to bet there’ll be a Diana Ross Night next year after Simon called her a “whale” on live TV. You’re a saint, Mr. Cowell. Thank you.

CHRIS BENITEZ: Sanjaya better hope his fans like his hair now. Paula tells Sanjaya to go after the songs — HE CAN’T. The funny thing is he believes he should be there, what a kid. Eh, then again all the guys kind of sucked tonight. I would say he is going home but this dude has some how squeezed through this far. I just don’t know. He is terrible! SCORE: 3 out of 10 

GLORIA CHEEVER: This poor little guy doesn’t quite have a voice large enough to fill that enormous hall. He certainly tried his best, and it was better than last week, but I certainly cannot see him winning this competition. You can tell he was really pushing — especially at the end. I think he has potential to be a decent vocalist, just not to win this show. SCORE: 4.5 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: Heh heh heh heh … this guy makes me giggle. He’s not good at all but is such a sweetheart. Oh boy is he not going home, but it’s not because of his vocals. He has the pre-teen vote. I don’t even know what to say about him … he’s Sanjaya … I don’t want to say anything mean for fear that the gods of all that is cute and fluffy might smooch me to death. SCORE: 9 out of 10…. HA HA HA.. J/K SCORE: 3 out of 10

“Missing You”

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Haley looked good tonight, better than last week. The low notes she sang were very good … then the high notes came around. She sounded like a Vegas airport singer on the verge of getting fired. Again, another one that forgets the words. She is not here to win. She did not sound very good. Then Simon throws her a lifesaver. She is drowning, and Simon might have saved her this week. We believe when her re-hears it again, he will retract what he said. SCORE: 4 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Haley lets it slip that she and her fellow contestants are “doing anything and everything” backstage to get ready for their performances. Hmm. Haley gives a shout-out to her guiding light Biggie Smalls by giving a stilted, terrified rendition of “Missing You.” Beyond a few brief flashes of tenderness, Haley sings like her All-American fiancé is holding up a sign saying “I’m Leaving You” in the audience. The soft parts were almost inaudible, the loud parts startled me, and overall it’s like Olivia Newton-John performing the day after getting out of rehab. The good news is she’s got some killer legs. Oh, but you’re tired of hearing you’re pretty, aren’t you Haley? Save it for your “friends” down at the sorority house. SCORE: 3.5 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: Tonight, I was hoping Haley would show us something different. Her look was much improved today, no blue jeans. The only problem was, of course the same problem she has always had — she just doesn’t sing well. Although she forgot the lyrics, Simon still found something positive to say to her. That might actually help her stick around another week. Not much has changed with Scarnato. SCORE: 4 out of 10 

GLORIA CHEEVER: This was too soft and maybe not intense enough at the beginning to make it a really solid performance. I think Simon’s comments will change everything for her. Those that were thinking she might go home will vote for her. She has potential to be really good — and she is really lovely. SCORE: 6 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: Today was the first time Simon actually told her something nice. Although she was a bit boring she did do better than usual. But it is apparent that she is not so comfortable singing. This will probably end up being the reason she leaves. SCORE: 4 out of 10 

 “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me” Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: After the last couple of people, Phil was a sigh of fresh air and that might have just saved him for another day. He was positioned very well after two miserable presentations. Phil sounded better than he ever has. He had very good presence. He looked a lot more comfortable than other times on stage. This might be the coming out for Phil — we are sure we will see him next week. SCORE: 5 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Diana Ross implores Phil to connect with his audience, assuring that they’re “real people” just like she and Phil are. There are so many things wrong with Gizmo — his rocky pitch, the way he pats his heart to imply emotion, his oh-so-Idol habit of leaning back to hit the big notes. But when Phil is able to wrangle his naughty donkey of a voice, it gets to work. His towering money notes are pure and invigorating, and tonight even his lower register was game. His goofy smile is disarming and he’s definitely the least irritating of all the men. SCORE: 7 out of 10.

CHRIS BENITEZ: He finally took the hat off! I thought it was pretty good; he did go for bigger notes a little more than he should have. So by the time the ending came he had already done it all, too much. His voice has power, but at this point he needs to have something else as well. I just don’t see him getting that much attention from here on. Hell, he never got that much attention anyways. SCORE: 5 out of 10   

GLORIA CHEEVER: Woo! This was a great song choice for him. His voice is fantastic! I think he sang well and really confidently. It didn’t sound or look like he was pushing as Simon said — but that giant stage can change a lot. He gets my vote for the best of they guys. SCORE: 8 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL:  I liked his singing tonight, he did a good job. I normally don’t like him but today he was good. He actually had me smiling, which I quickly wiped off my face and made sure no one was looking. But good job, señorito Phil. SCORE: 7 out of 10

“God Bless The Child”

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: She immediately looked very classy in her dress. So different from the first week. She has taken Simon’s criticism very well. OH my god. She is amazing. LaKisha has such a great voice that she knows it. She teased us over and over through out the song. She would almost hit that great not, but would have the control not to let us have it all until the end. This is making a song your own without changing it. AWESOME. SCORE: 9 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: LaKisha opts for the standard diva package of out the Idol catalogue and turns in yet another blustery performance, this time in an angelic gown under some dramatic spotlighting. She completely disregarded Diana Ross’ advice on using a microphone stand, but Diana got the last laugh: LaKisha looked like a stray blimp floating across the stage with nothing to anchor her. LaKisha’s singing is admirable, but there’s nothing flirty, no irony, no pizzazz in her rendition. Basically, she’s just good at not going outside the lines in the coloring book. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10. The nails, one inch longer than last week, earn her another free half-point.

CHRIS BENITEZ: If any day was the day for LaKisha to shine, it was today. So did she? I think so. But was it strong enough to be the best? I don’t think so. As big as her voice is, I just don’t put her with Melinda. She doesn’t have that magic or spark that I see in some others. Not that she is in any trouble; she seems to have enough fans to take her all the way to the Top 3. She can still win this competition, by the way; she just needs to find a way to really challenge Doolittle. SCORE: 7 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: What were the words at the beginning? This wasn’t my favorite performance of LaKisha’s. In fact, I haven’t liked her performances as much as I liked the first one. However, it was still really good. I think she has a style all her own. SCORE: 7 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: She was good, of course, and actually tries to fix the problems the judges say. She is so very, very passionate. Moving is the word. Her passion for singing is somewhat overwhelming. Yep, she in a league of her own. But I’m sure does not have enough teenybopper votes to win this contest unfortunately. Tear. SCORE: 9 out of 10

“You Keep Me Hangin’ On” Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Sorry you had to go after LaKisha, but someone had to. Blake really took the term “make it your own” to heart and mauled the song. This sounds like a remix and a bad one at that. He is trying too hard to make himself be different than the others and it is btting him in the rear. Sing, Blake, just sing. Everything else will fall into place. He looked like the performer who is trying to please a crowd not matter what. SCORE: 5 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: The Blake Remix featured some strutting/dancing that would make Pee-Wee Herman cringe and more evidence that Blake needs to go back to the drawing board as far as his image goes. He was slow on the rhythm, he tumbled off pitch — it felt like a rehearsal. Halfway through, it suddenly dawned on him what a mistake he had made. The arrangement wasn’t as nauseating as the judges made it seem, and they again displayed their bone-headedness by insisting the original song shouldn’t be toyed with. What about Kim Wilde’s dance-club version, one of the biggest hits of 1987? This is strike three for Blake, and at this rate he’s going the way of the Constantine. SCORE: 4.5 out of 10. He gets one sympathy half-point for trying to jazz up the night with something original.

CHRIS BENITEZ: I like Blake, but not tonight. It was all screwed up for him. Or was it because he was finally put with the girls who totally out shined him and the rest of the boys? I didn’t like the way the song was revamped — it’s a classic, and he doesn’t have enough clout to do that yet. Vocally it was weak as well, very weak.

GLORIA CHEEVER: I think the most mesmerizing thing about this performance were the lights. I didn’t care for his arrangement of this. He really is a better singer than he showed us tonight. Not his best. SCORE: 6 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: Typical Blake, and he’s good, but becoming too predictable. Guess since it’s his style, he might be too scared of losing the votes if he tried something else. Problem is you can only hear so much of his style and begin to think: “Am I over it?” SCORE: 6 out of 10 

“Love Hangover” Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: The women are rocking tonight. She has great control over her voice. We loved that, but she left us with our corsage and did not take us to the dance. We were waiting for the great fast part, and it never came. She said it would have made it too long, but I have seen other arrangements that do make it through. She ALSO forgot a couple of words. Stephanie reminds us of Fantasia, but has yet to come through. She was on the verge of opening it all up tonight and she failed. SCORE: 5 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: “Love Hangover” is probably D-Ross’ greatest song, and of course Stephanie blows the opportunity to make something of it. Like Beyoncé on all of her songs, she grips this woozy, punch-drunk disco tune much too firmly. She dumped the fun part of the song because it was too much “improv,” meaning she couldn’t handle it. What makes it worse is that she couldn’t handle the boring part either. Shrieky and overcooked, it was like the ghost of Sabrina Sloan was haunting her. Pretty smiles and a cute figure only get you so far, Steph. Better watch it. SCORE: 5 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: I really don’t know what to say about this one. I guess it was OK. I wonder how many fans Stephanie has. Could she go home tomorrow? It is possible. She is the Amy Krebs of the Top 12 in my opinion, and things didn’t go very well for her. Maybe not this week but soon I think. It is just kind of stale in my opinion. SCORE: 5 out of 10 

GLORIA CHEEVER: This was OK. She’s beautiful, but I didn’t think this was a wonderful performance. I didn’t like the song choice. She sounded great, but it was just all a little strange to me. Her outfits, on the other hand, are always tasteful and classy.  SCORE: 6 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: Like her a lot, but today she was not memorable. She is beginning to blend in, and is just becoming the “Oh, who just sang that song?” kind of girl. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: STOP IT with the Justin Timberlake thing. This is so totally obvious. Tonight he looked like a person imitating Justin imitating Diana. You follow? He relies too much on JT. He have yet to see who C.R. is. This will only take him so far even though he is literally riding Justin’s coattails. The teens love him, but we do not. SCORE: 2 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Together, Chris and Blake remind me of Frodo’s nitwit Hobbit friends trying to make it in L.A. Another white suit is accompanied by another failed attempt at bringing Diana Ross to a new generation. Chris’ performance was livelier than anyone else’s, but each off-pitch note was like an arrow piercing my flesh, and there were many of them. Chris is the first contestant this season to make use of the infamous Catwalk of Despair behind the judges’ desk. SCORE: 4 out of 10. Four of those points are for showmanship alone.

CHRIS BENITEZ: His vocal runs sounded awful. Like a Chihuahua howling. In a singing competition the singing comes first. Tonight Mr. Richardson went straight to performing, and not very likable in my eyes. This was one of my least favorites tonight … SCORE: 4.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: He looked like he was having a good time. This was a pretty exciting performance! Yeah, the vocals weren’t all that great, but I don’t think there is much more he can do to please Simon. His voice isn’t huge, so we won’t ever hear a big booming sound from him. SCORE: 7 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: I never liked this guy in the beginning, but now I am starting to.  His interaction with the audience was nice. I think he miiiight make it to the end since he is pleasant-looking. But it is definitely not because of his talent. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Apparently everyone forgot their lyrics tonight — could’ve fooled me. As wretched as the night was, I’m thankful we no longer have to deal with the boys pitted against the girls, like some kind of sick hopscotch match. Much thanks to the Top 12 for reminding me why I’ll never buy a Diana Ross CD.

BRANDON GARCIA: I’ll go with Phil just for variety on a very weak night. Melinda was probably better, but I hated the song. LaKisha was a distant third.

CHRIS BENITEZ: Melinda Doolittle, Jordin Sparks and LaKisha Jones 

GLORIA CHEEVER: Jordin Sparks

BRANDON GARCIA: Haley, again.

CHRIS BENITEZ: Sanjaya Malakar, of course. 

GLORIA CHEEVER: Brandon Rogers

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: We wish Sanjaya would be going home, but 
Brandon is on our list for tonight. 
 

BRANDON GARCIA: Brandon. Please take Haley with you, B.

CHRIS BENITEZ: Brandon Rogers 

GLORIA CHEEVER: Brandon 

MARITZA HAMILL: We all know I can’t predict for beans … but hey, let’s give it a shot. HALEY SCARNATO!   

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Who can’t wait for the grand diva herself to perform on Thursday??? Anyone? Anyone? Well, at least we can watch Brandon (or Haley) sing for the last time.