The Monitor's American Idol Chat

American Idol takes a sober turn as Ryan Seacrest ditches his usual metrosexual duds for an outfit borrowed from Anne Robinson of The Weakest Link, and the female contestants shoot to prove that they, in fact, are the dullest group of Season 6. What do the Idol Chat judges think of the final round of the Semifinals? Should anyone here actually be crowned the next pop superstar, or should they just call the whole thing off? 

BRANDON GARCIA: Asked why Paula had been MIA for a moment or two at the start of the show, Randy further elevated his playa status by answering “She was under the desk … getting something for me.” This delightful bit of raunch easily ranked as the night’s best moment. From there on, it was yet another long slog through the forsaken desert of Easy-listening Land. That is, until Melinda took the stage.

*Click on the contestants’ names to watch their performances from last week. 

“Heartbreaker” (Pat Benatar) Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Jordin’s energy is more than the total of all the men. She should choose a song that relates to her youth. The song was an ’80s song that was not her. She will be in the Top 12. Her youth does not compare to other young people on American Idol before. She has great talent and will go far. Way to start the night, Jordin. SCORE: 6 out of 10 

BRANDON GARCIA: Jordin blows our minds by revealing she’s a football fan. I mean, yeah, her dad is ex-NFL player Phillippi Sparks. And she is built like a linebacker. But who would’ve guessed, right? Jordin comes out with guns blazing, determined not to let Antonella or Haley steal her spot in the Finals. Normally, Pat Benatar’s “Heartbreaker” is a death sentence for Idol contenders — it’s basically “My Sharona” disguised as hard rock, and at this very second, it’s being sung at 33 karaoke bars across the United States. But apart from a late start and a few nails-in-the-eardrum notes, Jordin injects the overdone tune with just enough vitality to get her a passing grade. SCORE: 6 out of 10. She gets one free point for tossing back her mane of hair at the end of the song. 

GLORIA CHEEVER: She seemed kinda out of breath — but she did a good job starting off the night. I think nerves had a lot to do with her performance being a little on the weak side, but I think she’ll be in the Top 12. SCORE: 6 out of 10 

CHRIS BENITEZ: So yeah, Jordin did all right. But tonight was not even good enough to make the Top 3. She was pitchy at times. I really don’t have much to say about her, she just didn’t impress me much today. Not her best showing. SCORE: 4.5 out of 10

AVERAGE SCORE: 5.6 

“Don’t Let Go (Love)” (En Vogue) Watch the original  

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Good night for Sabrina. She can sing, but we don’t think she has ever chosen the correct song for her. She looked natural on stage tonight, but she has to step it up for the rest of the competition. Her range was off from other nights. She has talent and can go far with some love. The girls so far are a lot better than the men. SCORE: 5 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Barely clothed in a leopard-print cocktail dress, Sabrina gives us an idea of what Howard Stern would look like as the star of Showgirls II: Back In The Habit. She throws out the opportunity to be low-key and seductive with this stormy En Vogue song and instead shoots for shrill and overwrought. Sabrina, I thought you were a fun little sex kitten, but it was all an act. You’re not the girl I thought you were. SCORE: 4 out of 5. Minus a half-point for giving me flashbacks of The Crying Game.

GLORIA CHEEVER: Some of those pitches were questionable. Not crazy about the song choice, either, but she was okay. She does have a nice voice, and I hope to see her grow on this show. I’m not convinced that America loves her, though. I think she may also be sent packing, even though I think she’s talented. SCORE: 6 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: I believe Sabrina is one of the best here, but it’s all about songs for her. If she picks a song that works for her, she will have a good week, and vice versa. Her voice sounded very pitchy. I see Sabrina and I think she has a pretty good combination of looks, and talent, I think there is a good market for her. But if she chooses songs that don’t reflect her talents she could be in trouble. I think she will do better next week. SCORE: 5 out of 10

AVERAGE SCORE: 5

“Put Your Records On” (Corinne Bailey Rae) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: She can talk better than she can sing. Well, let’s face it, she can do a lot of things better than she can sing. She is horrible. It would be unjust if someone else does not make it to the Top 12 and she does. How can anyone vote for her? I couldn’t wait for this song to appear on AI, but not with her singing it. It was better than other weeks, but that is not saying much. I don’t think BOOBYGATE will help her out this time. Bye, Antonella. See ya! SCORE: 4 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Oh, Antonella. Not one note was in tune during your entire performance, and worse, no one’s buying that you’re an innocent virgin just because you play the violin. Here’s my advice: Forget Corinne Bailey what’s-her-name. Forget Celine. Think Gloria Trevi. She sings worse than you do, and she’s an international superstar. Take up the woman-of-ill-repute role that Sabrina will leave vacant when she’s voted off tomorrow. Run with it. And when they ask you if that’s you in those pictures, just smile and wink slyly. You’re gonna be a star, babe. SCORE: 1 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: I hope this girl finally goes home. Out of all the songs in the world that she could’ve picked, I can’t believe she picked this song. I’m sorry, but by the time she got to the last note, (which apparently was the only good thing about it), I don’t think I was listening anymore. It was a dull, boring performance. The song was just entirely too low for her and just not the right one. Not that she can help it, but the other girls really are much stronger singers. I see her heading home … SCORE: 4 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: Well, this could be bad news for people who hate Antonella. She had her best performance tonight, on a crucial week. Now it wasn’t great or even good by any means, but when you combine the fact that she had fans without any real talent, I feel that tonight will only help her. I mean, I could pick her to leave tomorrow, and she might because in the end she is the worst singer, but I see her sticking around one more week. If it was up to me, Antonella would go home tomorrow with Haley Scarnato. Maybe she will, who knows? SCORE: 4 out of 10

AVERAGE SCORE: 4

“If My Heart Had Wings” (Melissa Manchester/Faith Hill) (No YouTube video available J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: We forgot we were watching American Idol. We thought it was that Grease competition. Sounded like Sandy’s character from the Grease broadway. We do think she has some vocal range, but the song was awful. I will apologize for Simon, that was not nice. She looks and acts like that song. Too peppy with no charisma. She is another pretty lady, but we think she is going home. See ya, Haley. SCORE: 4 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: As a nod to her failure as a junior gymnast, Haley picks a song that was born to accompany an Olympic floor routine — perky, stout-hearted, beyond unlistenable. Her wafer-thin, Nutrasweet voice makes my kidneys scream for dialysis. My fellow panelist Maritza compares Haley to Belle from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, and it’s completely true: She may as well be skipping around in a tiara with a sparrow on her shoulder. Every time she glances off into the distance with those dewy eyes, every time she reaches out with those delicate fingers, I fantasize about the Beast on a particularly grumpy day, hurling Haley from one of his castle’s towers into the chasms below. SCORE: 2 out of 10. She gets one point for being slightly better than Antonella.    

GLORIA CHEEVER: What’s up with these song choices?! This was a decent performance, but probably not enough to get her into the Top 12. I didn’t care for this song choice, either. She has a good voice, but it does need a lot of work — particularly with the jaw tension. This wasn’t memorable. I think she’s going home. SCORE: 5 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: Ok, first of all Faith Hill sings this song great. It wasn’t a bad song choice in my opinion. It’s just that Haley has a very thin, pageant-sounding voice. It doesn’t really shine to any song in my opinion. I believe Haley is going home tomorrow. SCORE: 4 out of 10

AVERAGE SCORE: 3.8

“Sweet Thing” (Rufus & Chaka Khan)

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Stephanie really reminds us of Fantasia. The problem tonight was that she sang it just like Chaka. She did not make the song her own. I would rather hear Chaka sing it. Her personality does outshine, but that can only take you so far. She looked very nice. What is with the “flawless” from Paula? What was SHE hearing? SCORE: 5 out of 10 BRANDON GARCIA: I think I’m going to have to take back my earlier prediction. Though I wouldn’t call anything she’s done thus far “enjoyable,” I think Stephanie’s done a better job of being consistent and will now proceed to the Top 12. Sabrina, in fact, is the third Dreamgirl. Tonight, I swear Stephanie sang the same song she sang last week. Her originality is now officially limited to her wardrobe, and though she looks dashing, I’m still not convinced. Her voice completely vanished during the low notes; at another point, I felt like I was listening to a goat in labor. None of it sounded like a singer I hadn’t heard before. SCORE: 5 out of 10. Begrudgingly.

GLORIA CHEEVER: Wow — she looks amazing! I love her style. She is always so elegant! She did sound like she was struggling tonight. Her voice cracked more than once. However, I think America will see past all that. I hope to see more of her in the top 12.  SCORE: 7 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: I think she had a pretty decent night. She has a powerful voice, but I also think she gets over shadowed by the Top 3 girls. She has kind of stayed a little under the radar — that’s not something that sells records you know. Whenever Stephanie steps up to sing I’m like, “Oh yeah, I forgot about this girl.” So yeah, I see her sticking around but not for too long. SCORE: 6 out of 10

AVERAGE SCORE: 5.8 

“I Have Nothing” (Whitney Houston) Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Oh my, LaKisha. She has never let us down. Love the way she sounds. Her voice just fills up every nook and cranny of the room. She WILL be in the Top 12. She is one of the ones to see. Up to now, no one else comes close to her. LaKisha turned it out … talk about the “Yo” factor. LaKisha IS the “Yo” factor. Classy! SCORE: 8 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: You’re killing me, LaKisha. I’m not sure which song I would banish from existence first: “I Have Nothing” or “Midnight Train To Georgia,” which you sang last week. Like Chris Sligh, you’ve got a great voice and you’re throwing it away on songs that do nothing to distinguish you as a real musician. On the plus side, you — yes, you — looked sexy tonight. Keep it up and we won’t have to resort to the paper bag. And send your mom and grandma back to the Dirty South. You’re getting classy, and they’re only holding you back. SCORE: 7 out of 10. One free half-point for her awesome eight-inch fingernails.

GLORIA CHEEVER: She had me hooked from the very first note! This girl doesn’t even have to try to be awesome! I know I’ve said this before, but she has such a passion for what she does and it makes her performance that much better. And she DOES look beautiful tonight. Top 12 for sure! SCORE: 9 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: Yeah, she looked great tonight, and the power was kicking. Lakisha came on and schooled everyone at this point. I had a feeling, though, after she performed, that it wouldn’t be good enough to win the night’s best. I think tonight it was the second-best vocally, but the third-best overall. It’s a singing competition, but when it comes down to the top players, little things set you apart, and I think she needs a little something. We will see. SCORE: 8 out of 10

AVERAGE SCORE: 8

“Call Me When You’re Sober” (Evanescence) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: A rocker girl has never won the competition, or even come close. We think Gina is about to break that. She has it to run into the finals. Can’t wait to hear her now that she has broken out of her shell. This was her coming-out party. She ROCKED. SCORE: 7 out of 10 BRANDON GARCIA: Thank God Gina decided to murder her inner diva. The way things were going, I feared we would have to endure Gina’s version of Kelly Clarkson’s “Because Of You.” Even though her singing was the equivalent of firing a machinegun blindfolded, and there’s nothing remotely edgy about a song called “Call Me When You’re Sober,” I understand what the judges see in her. She stands out, like the marshmallows in Lucky Charms. Now that she’s for sure got a spot in the Top 12, all she needs to do is pick songs that aren’t too hard for her unreliable voice and/or by laughable goth-“rock” bands. SCORE: 5.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: This song was definitely her style. It’s funny how I was just thinking she should do some Evanescence, and she sings this song. She is incredibly talented, and so edgy. I hope to see her do well in the Top 12. SCORE: 8 out of 10  

CHRIS BENITEZ: I like this girl, and I like her style! I think she can still pick some better tunes though. Amy Lee from Evanescence sings this song in a soft falsetto and head-voice tone so naturally that singing it in chest voice is going to be a little tough. I think she did it strong enough to keep her going on American Idol. I think her performance was the second best tonight. Has she dropped a few pounds??? She looks great regardless… SCORE: 8 out of 10

AVERAGE SCORE: 7.1

“I’m A Woman” (Peggy Lee) Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: You are the ONE Melinda. You have come out every single week and set that precedent. Others are good one week, but not others. Melinda is consistent. She finally added some spice to her presentation and it hit the mark. She brought out the attitude. FINALLY. Melinda is going to be the one to beat. SCORE: 9 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Here’s your frontrunner, folks, out of both the girls and the guys. She’s so much better than anyone else, even LaKisha, it’s not even funny. Tonight she gave a bawdy, bluesy, ballsy performance I liked even more than than last week’s “My Funny Valentine,” which had everyone drooling. Her growl was authentic, the rapid-fire beginning was convincing and her confidence was undeniable. The only thing that stands in her way now is what killed Fantasia: She has not yet proven she can sing songs that would be played on the radio today. That and her pitiful “personal stylist.” SCORE: 9 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: Woo! She’s a very talented W-O-M-A-N! What a way to close the show! She is a phenomenal singer and artist! I think she’s my favorite. SCORE: 10 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: Like I said before, get her a contract. The level difference at this point is huge. I think the gap is only going to get wider. She is a diamond!!! Enough said. SCORE: 10 out of 10

AVERAGE SCORE: 9.5

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: The women are here to COMPETE, unlike the amateurs we saw last night. I can’t believe they have to get rid of two boys and two girls. This week, it should be ALL boys. They did not come out to compete. It is going to be very interesting next week when they ALL come out to compete on the same stage and the boys will go home one by one. We have two different American Idol show this season, completely different. Can’t wait for next week. 

 J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: LaKisha and Melinda

BRANDON GARCIA: Melinda Doolittle, no question. LaKisha hovers way beneath her.  

GLORIA CHEEVER: Melinda Doolittle (yet again!)

CHRIS BENITEZ: Melinda Doolittle, Gina Glocksen

BRANDON GARCIA: Haley Scarnato

GLORIA CHEEVER: Antonella Barba

CHRIS BENITEZ: Haley Scarnato and Antonella Barba 

  J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Antonella and Haley 

BRANDON GARCIA: Haley and Sabrina

GLORIA CHEEVER: Antonella and Haley (maybe even Sabrina) 

CHRIS BENITEZ: Haley Scarnato and Antonella Barba ————————————————————————————– 

It’s looking like bad news for either Haley and Antonella, and possibly Sabrina. Tune in to Idol Chat tonight for live results.

When Sanjaya is among the better entertainers at your party, you know you’re in trouble. The eight remaining guys competing for six open slots in the Finals performed so poorly as a whole that ratings will probably sink and low-level Fox execs will be fired. Tonight the Idol Chat judges will tell you which of these delusional dudes will continue on their futile quests to be the next American Idol.

“Hey, have fun!” Paula Abdul insists, her lips contorting, her eyes rolling back in her head. “You guys are celebrities!” The Top 10 men left standing on American Idol took a cue from their off-the-deep-end judge and tried to loosen things up after smearing the show’s reputation with their wretched performances last week. How did they measure up? Let’s see what the Idol Chat judges have to say — because Paula certainly wasn’t making sense.

BRANDON GARCIA: Seacrest starts off the show with a moving tribute to Jennifer Hudson, whose Academy Award win Sunday “validates the quality of the talent that our judges discover.” Right. Because they were so supportive of Jennifer back when she was on the show singing her guts out in an outfit she likened to a “turkey wrap.” Speaking of turkeys, the theme tonight was “Dedicate Your Song and Pretend You’re On Oprah.” The guys gave us their Hallmark moments on their grandmothers, grandfathers, girlfriends, wives, etc., and then sang songs about breaking up and how the world is sex-crazed. My heart is warming like a potato in the microwave.

GLORIA CHEEVER: Tonight was a little more exciting, but it is still a struggle to stay positive. I wasn’t totally impressed with these performances OR song choices. However, these young men are very talented … so I hope they continue to grow on this show.   

*Click on the contestants’ names below to watch their performances from last week on YouTube.

“Missing You” (John Waite) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Phil is a very likeable guy, but don’t know how far this is going to take him. We expected the men to come out swinging, but Phil chose a very safe song. He has decent vocals; with some help, he can expect to improve. There is something about his look. Reminds me of The Mummy. I guess it’s the baldness. We know it sounds harsh, but American Idol is so much about the look as the vocals. These first weeks, it all has to do with the look. Phil will be here next week, but for how long …  not long. SCORE: 6 out of 10 

BRANDON GARCIA: Phil shamelessly grabs for the military vote as he dedicates the ultimate ’80s eighth-grade heartbreak song “Missing You” to his Navy buddies. And courtesy of home video, we get to see him “rock out” wearing full sailor attire, which makes him look like he works at Baskin Robbins. Curious message you’re sending, Phil, but I guess it’s better than singing “In The Navy.” As is apparently unavoidable, Phil bumbles through the beginning but hits some blazing notes at the end. Like his voice, Phil’s looks waver from handsome to Steve-Buscemi-level hideous. Simon called him a “very, very good karaoke singer” — which means he’s not doing too shabby on this show, essentially the karaoke world championships. SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: This guy is talented! Much better song choice this time around. I agree with Simon — I think he has a lot of wonderful color in his sound. He scores big with me technique-wise. No tension, just a good nice sound. SCORE: 7 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ : Phil Stacey, I thought he was all right. Not bad, kind of a neutral start to the night. Simon didn’t care for it too much, can’t say he was all that wrong.  The boys had a week to improve their performances after last weeks terrible start. I guess when you see it that way this wasn’t that great after all. SCORE: 5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: This guy seems to be “American Idolish,” but lacks the spark that will make him shine more than the rest. His bald head is very distracting. I can’t seem to focus on the music. Vocals are good, just a boring song. SCORE: 6 out of 10

“Let’s Get It On” (Marvin Gaye) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Jared improved from last week. We think he should stick to the blues — it is his niche. The problem this week is Jared tackled a song he should sing only if he is in the Top 4, not the second week. It is MARVIN GAYE!!! Don’t get us wrong: We do believe Jared has good potential and is a pretty boy. That will take him on a few weeks. Stick with the blues — just choose your songs wisely, Jedi. SCORE: 6 out of 10 

BRANDON GARCIA: Jared dedicates “Let’s Get It On” to his mom and dad. Hotttttt. To his credit, he didn’t add one drop of libido to his performance, so it pretty much was dead on arrival. He tries to dress the song up with whoops and ahhs, even gets down on his knees to chase the camera longingly. All we want to do is run from this shaky-voiced, possibly epileptic man who’s trying to get in our pants. Now that we know Mom’s to blame for dragging this guy into our lives, let’s mail him right back to her Thursday, shall we? Best moment of the night: Paula says the song isn’t one that needs to be “pushed.” Then her eyes cross and her face lifts itself lazily into a smile. “Huh. Huh huh. ‘Pushed.’ Huh huh huh.” She’s feeling no pain, folks. Let’s be happy for her. SCORE: 4.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: A sexy side to Jared! However, if I had a son, I certainly would NOT want him imitating him or singing this song. I don’t think it was appropriate for
America. It was also (wow, I actually agreed with Paula) very pushed. I’m concerned for him — last week lots of tension, this week a pushed sound. Be careful, Jare. You want your voice to last … it’s the only one you’re ever going to get. SCORE: 5 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: He was pitchy again, but this time he showed a little more power. Like Phil, it was only all right. Although it was better than last week, I don’t see this dude blossoming into something great anytime soon. SCORE: 5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL:
CARLTON!!! Since the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air stopped airing in the 1990s, I had wondered where you had gone. Heh heh heh … just can’t dance like you used to though. SCORE: 5 out of 10

“Feeling Good” (Standard)

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: A.J. has a good fashion sense. Could that be a downfall?  Simon said he was “strangely comfortable” — what did he mean by this? He does have to improve vocally. Good falsetto.  His dancing tends to take his breath away and his singing suffers. What about those dancing moves? NO! Get some new ones. Nail the vocals, then worry about the dancing. We liked his rendition. He will remain this week, but has a lot of improvement in order to remain among the boys. SCORE: 7 out of 10. 

BRANDON GARCIA: The bad girl of the Top 10 men also dedicates his song to his father and mother, who was Rae Dawn Chong in a past life. A.J.’s performance is sultry and seductive in the way that Jared’s was not. His smooth, resonant tone and good dancing are a nice fit for this show. It’s like he watched hours and hours of Toni Braxton videos and told himself in the mirror: “This is who you will be. C’mon, you can do it: Hands out. Lips pouty. Shake neck.” SCORE: 7 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: I would’ve taken the tempo a little faster. The beginning was rough, but I think he redeemed himself at the end. I like that he took a risk. Not bad! SCORE: 7 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: He was good! He surprised me; that’s great. I liked his personality this time around. This was fresh, and I think he found himself on stage. If the pitch problem improves, his chances get way better. SCORE: 5.5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: OK, I have the original track of this song and it sounds nothing like this. But he did sing well. Too bad I wasn’t loving it. He has a pretty voice for a girl, and for a girl I give him … SCORE: 7 out of 10

“Steppin’ Out With My Baby” (Standard)

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Sanjaya … you are gone! This was terrible. How do you whisper a song and say it was great? NOW you put a hat on? The Michael Jackson lookalike is enough to be voted off. Who is choosing your songs? Your grandpa? When did he come out with this song, yesterday? We wonder if there are any people around when these people are practicing. Think about it. Can’t anyone with one good ear come in to his practice and tell him, “Sanjaya, choose another song, ’cause this one sucks.”  This guy’s has no business being here. GO HOME. We believe he will be going home. We can’t think of anything good to say about this. Oh yeah … STOP with the smile. Maybe the teens will keep him in this week, but his time is running out. SCORE: 4 out of 10 

BRANDON GARCIA: That’s where Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” hat has been all this time! Only God knows why Sanjaya chose to play up his unflattering resemblance to a King of Pop impersonator at a gay bar. Only God knows why Sanjaya decided to “celebrate … the great years … of music” and push the very limits of the word “boring.” Only God knows why he blessed Sanjaya with a great instrument and left him with the look and personality of John Mark Karr. The little-train-that-can’t is now getting creepy. Derail him, peeps, before he tries “Heal The World.” Please. SCORE: 2 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: I kinda liked it … but I don’t think he’s going to be around another week. It was a risky song, very musical theater, which isn’t always accepted too well on this show. This definitely shows a different side to him, but I don’t think it’s enough to get him to the Top 12. If America is forgiving, he needs to step it up. SCORE: 5 out of 10 

CHRIS BENITEZ: Oh man, this kid needs to watch himself on camera all day long so he can learn what not to do. I feel he is probably going home now. Very odd, but not a good odd. His singing was barely audible. I think this guy should try singing in the key he talks in. That is a CHRIS DANIEL tip! Hahaha!!! SCORE: 3 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: Oh, this guy breaks my heart. He is sooo sweet, but looks like the cute little kid Michael Jackson gave his clothing to. No love for him. There is not enough air in his breathing, making it hard to hear him. SCORE: 5 out of 10

“Trouble” (Ray LaMontagne) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Jump on the bandwagon now, boys and girls. This guy has been our boy since the beginning and is now proving who he is. Love the feeling he puts out when he sings. Sings with passion. Brought a tear to Amanda’s eye with his song. Now, doesn’t his voice sound like Roy Orbison? Take a listen next time. Just like
Roy, we will be hearing a lot more from Chris. We saw the softer side of Chris, and Amanda Flores loved it. SCORE: 8 out of 10 

BRANDON GARCIA: Chris Sligh sings “Trouble,” a tune that was tedious when Taylor sang it last year and hasn’t improved. Chris is more soulful than Taylor ever managed to be, and his voice is better restrained, richer and more melodic — but the guy is no fun to watch. His doofy walking reminds of Kirby on NES, and well … Chris, how about a paper bag? Paper bags are in this season. Have one on me. Look, even your wife agrees. She’s nodding, Chris. Put it on. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: He has a beautiful instrument, but I didn’t care for the song choice. Of course, I’m not Sarah (his wife) … SCORE: 6 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: I think Chris Sligh has a pretty great-sounding voice! In the year of Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard, I think Chris would have been the underdog and overmatched. But, This year is different, and I think vocally he is one of the best. I believe his voice and presence will improve each week. Very solid today. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: Wicked hair. Man this guy’s voice does not match his face. I think of Blues Traveler. Or Chucky on Rugrats. HIs voice on the other hand is awesome, radio material. He’s got my vote. SCORE: 8 out of 10

“Fever” (Standard) Listen to the most well-known version

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Don’t vote for Pedro!  We don’t know what saint he prayed to, but he was saved last week … not this week. Pedro … you are on your way home. His is this year’s crooner, but crooners never do well on American Idol. Sorry.  We don’t know why he uses that raspy whisper to sing — probably to hide the fact he can’t sing. Nothing more to say … except bye. SCORE: 4 out of 10 

BRANDON GARCIA: Nick gives us an uneven, wandering performance of this overdone jazz standard. Pedro stills looks uncomfortably constipated, but his voice simmers. Then he crashes and burns. And then it’s back to simmering. Very uneven, like I said, but all in all it leans toward “good” rather than “bad.” My fellow panelist Chris compared Nick to the guy from work who sings — I kind of think that’s part of his charm, which he almost ruined with that “Vote for Pedro” nonsense. Still a Top 12 contender, as far as I’m concerned. SCORE: 5 out of 10 

GLORIA CHEEVER: Loved it! A nice, sultry sound…I think his voice is pretty original, but I agree with Simon in that he is in need of more fitting attire. He needs to be a little riskier with his style. I hope to see him in the Top 12. SCORE: 8 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: He has a unique tone of voice. Raspy, smooth but NOT powerful. I really never know what to say with Nick. Just very plain, hey if you like plain, he is your guy. But I don’t think plain will win this year, so he better work something out quick SCORE: 4.5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: I think I am the only person who doesn’t care for this guy. I think he’s lame, and flat out just don’t like him. He bores me. And he’s not worth me spending 15 cents on a text.  SCORE: 5 out of 10

“Virtual Insanity” (Jamiroquai) Watch the original

BRANDON GARCIA: Folks, you heard it first on Idol Chat: Blake Lewis will bring back the beat-boxing and the Urban Outfitters rags today, I said, and here you have it. He’s even wearing a cap from the Super Mario Collection that looks like a map written on a mushroom. In my Top 12 Predictions, I suggested he sing “Missing You,” which Phil Stacey just so happened to pick. Should’ve listenened to me, Blakey. “Virtual Insanity” seemed like a good song for our style maven to pick — in theory. He disproved that idea almost immediately when he decided to pair his weak, out-of-breath vocals with rave moves and sound effects. His quicksilver voice should have been capable of doing this song justice, but by the falsetto at the end, Blake sounded like a scrawny little kitten pawing at my door. Someone bring me a BB gun. SCORE: 5.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: This reminded me of a Justin Timberlake performance. Not bad. I think the scatting was pretty original. He also has a nice falsetto and a great sense of style. He is definitely unique. I don’t think he sounded at all like Jamiroquai, which is good, because I didn’t like the song choice very much. He’s still one of my favorites, though. SCORE: 7 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: This guy is a natural. I think Simon made a little booboo here — not that Blake Lewis is perfect, he just looks way more comfortable and confident on stage than everyone else.  As long as he keeps pushing his limits I see him going very, very
far. SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: I like this song. But he didn’t make it WOW until the artificial voice box stuff. He sounded like he was running out of breath. SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

“Time After Time” (Cyndi Lauper) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Maybe the Valley ties will save Brandon … NOT!  Brandon, pack your bags. How do you have so much experience in the singing industry and you choose Cyndi Lauper. HOW?  This was terrible. Pack your pink shirt! Brandon keeps on talking about Next Week, Next Week … there will no more Next Week for  Brandon. Stop with the song had heart … it had nothing. It was a cross between Cyndi Lauper and Froggie from the Little Rascals. Not even some X-rated pictures will save Brandon. See ya! SCORE: 3 out of 1 

BRANDON GARCIA: Listen to Cyndi Lauper sing this and you’ll see what Brandon’s version is missing. Brandon’s grin is ear to ear throughout the whole performance — no feeling at all. A Care Bear could have sung just as passionately as Brandon did. Like Melinda Doolittle, Maxwell-Lite is a former background singer. Unlike Melinda, Brandon is wallpaper. Adding yet another Idolism to our vocabulary, Simon said he lacked the “wow impact,” but as far as I can tell he lacked a pulse. SCORE: 4.5 out of 5 

GLORIA CHEEVER: It was nice. He is very talented, but I didn’t care for the song. It was good, but I didn’t love it. SCORE: 5 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: This was not good. Not good at all. The outfit was pretty terrible as well.Very pitchy, and very weak.  At this point, I wouldn’t want
Brandon singing backups for anyone. SCORE: 4 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: BLAH! The attire was rancid; the song was vile, oh dear no. You made me love you last week and now I hate you! That’s it, it’s over! GO HOME! SCORE: 2 out of 10

“Geek In The Pink” (Jason Mraz) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: We had mixed emotions with Chris. We loved the way he chose a youthful song with “Geek in the Pink” from Jason Mraz. And his vocals keep getting better and better. We do think he is going to go places. Here is the mix up: He acts too much like Justin Timberlake. He has the clothes, moves etc. from Justin. Too much. Is it a good thing? Maybe we will be wrong if he changes now, but it is a turn-off for us. The judges seem to like him. He will be around for a while. 

BRANDON GARCIA: This song is actually called “Geek in the Pink,” and Chris is actually dedicating it to Big Mama, his overbearing, party-animal grandmother back in Virginia. Chris navigates the tricky melody better than Blake did in a similar song —in fact, maybe Chris should have sung “Virtual Insanity.” But just like his taste in music, Chris makes my skin crawl. Too cocky. Too Timberlake. And thanks to him, Big Mama’s going to show up in my nightmares, just like Large Marge did when I was a kid. And still, he’s probably one of the more talented singers in this bunch. Sad times, people, sad times. SCORE: 7 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: Fun! I liked him last week and I love him this week. I think this song really showed his personality. He was definitely one of my favorites tonight! SCORE: 9 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: I don’t know, I wasn’t impressed with this performance. The judges really liked it and that surprised me. It did nothing for his voice, with the exception of maybe a note or two. I have watched it twice already and don’t see anything that says “American Idol.” SCORE: 5.5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: Speak to your grandmother with that song? Wow, you decided to dedicate a naughty song to your g-ma. Nice … hate to see what you would dedicate to your mother. I will say I liked the song, and him. But he does NOT resemble Justin Timberlake. This guy is actually attractive. SCORE: 7 out of 10

“Mustang Sally” (Wilson Pickett)

 J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: We believe Sundance should stick to these FUN songs. He does very well with them. Fun songs do not show his vocals too much … but will get him the votes. It IS a resurgence from the first week. A LOT better than last week. Sundance will not go home this week. Depending on the songs he chooses, he might be a surprise at the end. Best of the night for us. SCORE: 8 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Asked what the public’s response to his performance last week was like, Sundance says “They said not to be so crappy.” Gotta love this show’s high standards. His “Mustang Sally” is passable, which is a lot more than can be said about last week’s ungodly performance. For some reasons, the judges and producers REALLY, REALLY want to keep this guy — Simon lied through his teeth complimenting Sundance when he would have torn apart anybody else for putting forth such an average, wedding-dad effort. That screaming at the end was unforgivable. The minute teardrops welled in Sundance’s beady blue eyes while talking about his infant son/lizard, I knew I was through with him forever. The warthog weeps, America falls for it and I’m calling it a night. SCORE: 3 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: This was a big surprise for me! I missed his initial audition, so I didn’t get to hear how talented he really is. He brought down the house! I almost feel bad (almost) about wanting him to go home last week. I’m glad America kept him around so we could enjoy this. SCORE: 9 out of 10

CHRIS BENITEZ: Wow, he entertained today!!! Very awesome indeed. I loved the rock scream — that’s what I’ve been waiting to hear. Easily the best performance of the night, and the first performance I actually enjoyed from the boys. SCORE: 8.5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: This is more the type of music that suits this guy. Not bad, Sundance. I thought you might be going home, but alas I stand corrected. SCORE: 7 out of 10

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Sundance Head and Chris Sligh 

BRANDON GARCIA: Phil Stacey. Chris Sligh would be next, and then Chris Richardson would be a distant third. 

GLORIA CHEEVER: Sundance Head!

CHRIS BENITEZ: Well the best were … Sundance Head and Blake Lewis. A side mention to Chris Sligh as well

MARITZA HAMILL: Chris Sligh

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Nick Pedro and Brandon Rogers 

BRANDON GARCIA: Sanjaya Malakar, by leaps and bounds. His earrings come in Second Place. Sundance, you’re right behind them.

GLORIA CHEEVER: Sanjaya Malakar

CHRIS BENITEZ: Sanjaya Malakar, Jared Cotter and Brandon Rogers all had poor performances this week.   

MARITZA HAMILL: Brandon Rogers 

BRANDON GARCIA: Jared Cotter, for being forgettable and unsexy, and Sanjaya Malakar, for … well, everything.

GLORIA CHEEVER: Some combinatin of Sanjaya,
Brandon or Jared

CHRIS BENITEZ: Sanjaya Malakar and Jared Cotter

MARITZA HAMILL: Nick Pedro and Brandon Rogers

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: The boys were given a task last week when the women took them to town. We don’t believe the men responded. They will again be taken to school tomorrow night. We can’t imagine why the men do not come out to win — they come out just to stay in the competition. There are two men who we believe BELONG. That’s it. Maybe there are late bloomers — NOT. Common men, you are letting us down. 

BRANDON GARCIA: Frontrunners bombed, subpar contestants got slightly better, and another night of Idol men draws to a close. I dedicate this review to all their wives, grandmothers, Big Mamas, etc. — eat up your 15 minutes, loved ones, ’cause your dudes’ numbers are up.

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Sundance Head made a glorious comeback in the eyes of most of the Idol Chat judges. After tallying the votes, we are predicting Jared Cotter and Sanjaya Malakar (with Nick Pedro and Brandon Rogers as alternates) will head home this week. Come back tomorrow morning to see what we think of the ladies’ second week, and see how our predictions match up to the results on Thursday.