Check out which Bon Jovi classics Idol Chat Editor Brandon Garcia recommends … and tell us your own requests!
THIS WEEK’S THEME: Bon Jovi songs
Finally a nod to the 80s lovers who keep this show alive. It’s not Madonna Night, but it’s close enough. If only Sanjaya had lived to see this day. Tear.
GUEST JUDGE: Probably the Jove himself
WHO WILL DO WELL: Phil, Melinda, Jordin … maybe LaKisha
WHO WILL BOMB: Blake, Chris
BANNED SONGS: Take what y’all can find, kids.
“Livin’ On A Prayer” — This is really the cream of the Bon Jovi crop. It’d be a train wreck for anyone but you, flawless Mindy Doo, and I want you to knock Jordin out of the ball park. You’re half … wayyyy … there — go the distance!
“Always” — I believe in you, LaKisha. You want it bad, so sink your teeth into this Meat Loaf-esque power ballad like it’s the hamhock you’ve been politely declining at dinner to keep that sexy figure. STOP JORDIN BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.
“It’s My Life” — It IS your life, Chris. Prove haters like me wrong. Or get the hell out.
“Wanted Dead Or Alive” — Nobody, not even Melinda, can do the awesome 80s like you do, Phil. You rocked “Missing You” AND “Every Breath You Take” already. Here’s an easy way to incorporate your nascent country-ishness into a surprise berth past lame-o’s Blake and Chris.
“I’ll Be There For You” — I sense a tough week for you, Blake. Bon Jovi works it despite oversinging, but the same can’t be said of you. Do your best with this lower-octane rocker. And don’t do this. (Cyndi come judge AMERICAN Idol!!!!!!)
“You Give Love A Bad Name” — I’ve about had it with you, Miss Sparks. You’re just not living up to your endless hype. But in the interest of fairness, I’m going to recommend the second best Bon Jovi tune because it’ll allow you to bring (semi)sexy back, and you did pretty well with Pat Benatar earlier in the season. I’d much rather you crash and burn in a “Blaze of Glory” at this point, I’ll have you know.
I have a bad feeling going into tonight. No comfort zone here.
Where’s Gina when we really need her. She would tear this Bon Jovi gig up for us, make us feel wild and free, send the wind rushing through our hair … yeah, whatever.
Speaking of hair … we miss Sanjayjay, that little minx. Forget music: Can you imagine Blake pulling off the Bon Jovi look? At least My Precioussss would give us coif magic.
No predictions today, just preferences and wishes:
Bring LaKiki back like she means it.
Make Jordin stop smiling.
Put Melinda in a red dress.
Give Chris a better voice.
Order silicone lip injections for our Beatboxer.
And for the love of follicles, order Phil to stop with the pimpdaddy headgear. (If he wears a goofy hat tonight, I swear I’ll have to grab an airbag.)
From my fortune cookie: Be skeered tonight. Be very skeered.
BLAKE REALLY BLEW IT THIS TIME, YES, RANDY IS CORRECT BY SAYING THAT BEATBOXER IS GETTING OLD, IS THAT ALL HE KNOWS… WHAT IS UP WITH BLAKES BLACK COLOR HAIR, IT DOES NOT GO WITH HIM @ ALL. THE 3 GALS WERE GREAT BUT I AM A BIT SCARED FOR LEKISHA, SHE IS STILL SHOUTING DURING HER PERFORMANCES, SHE HAS NOT FOUND THE BEAT AFTER THE SONG SHE DID FROM THE DREAM GIRLS, THAT SONG WAS A BOMB. I HATE TO SAY IT BUT EVEN THOUGH BLAKE BLEW IT, I PREDICT LAKISHA’S ROAD ENDS TONITE. SORRY FOR THOSE LAKISHA FANS BUT SHE HAD HER CHANCES & NEVER TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THEM.