By Brandon Garcia, Idol Chat editor
THEME: Country
GUEST COACH: Martina McBride
WHO WILL DO WELL: Phil Stacey, Chris Richardson
WHO WILL BOMB: Blake Lewis
This week we welcome The Monitor’s managing editor, Marci Caltabiano-Ponce, a woman with wit and a major Idol fan.
MARCI: Yee haw and howdy, y’all! Close your eyes and travel in time with me to next Tuesday’s American Idol. It’s Country Music night. Peer closely … Can you see it? Look closer, there they are!
MARCI: “Stand By Your Man” (Tammy Wynette) — Focus on Melinda, in her proper dark jeans and brown western-cut shirt, oh-so-sincerely beseeching the ladies to be brave with Tammy Wynette’s “Stand By Your Man.” It’s mainstream and traditional, and so is Melinda. But this song can have a wow factor if she’ll only stop being such a goodytwoshoes. Let go some, Mel. Slap the mare and let ‘er rip!
BRANDON: “Ways To Be Wicked” (Lone Justice) — She’d probably be safe with any Patsy Cline song, but this forgotten gem penned by Tom Petty might give her an opportunity to shake off the soccer mom-ness.
MARCI: “Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground” (Willie Nelson) — See now, there’s Chris, in boots, tight jeans and sexy, fringed western jacket, peppering Willie Nelson’s “Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground” with his infamous runs. Chris could carry this off and not tick me off (I loooove this song). After all, Willie can’t sing either, but he sure can put over a tune.
BRANDON: “What Hurts The Most” (Rascal Flatts) *— It’s got a modern veneer and a cool melody repetition, plus Chris’ squeal sounds just like the Rascal Flatts dude’s. DO NOT ATTEMPT: “I Swear” (John Michael Montgomery) *The chick at the beginning of this video is hilarious.
MARCI: “Man! I Feel Like A Woman” (Shania Twain) — Oh, look, there’s Jordin, in pigtails and a yellow gingham apron dress with puffy little sleeves, giggling and simpering her way through Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like A Woman.” I figure anything with an exclamation point in the title is Jordin’s territory. It’s also upbeat and would allow her to have some fun. Jordin loves to have fun.
BRANDON: “I Hope You Dance” (Lee Ann Womack) — Another country song in name only. I’m already preparing my ear drums for the money note (”Daaaaaaaance”), which Jordin will ring for all it’s worth. Please God No: “How Do I Live” (LeAnn Rimes)
MARCI: “Jambalaya” — There’s Blake, in chinos and guayabera, scatting and beatboxing “Jambalaya.” It’s syncopated, fun, and he can make this his if he just uses a little control in the arrangement.
BRANDON: “When You Come Back Down” (Nickel Creek) — The last thing Blake needs is some bar jam, so he better rein it in with something simple and breathy. Then again, I’d pay money to see Blake in polka dot chaps and a red cowboy hat.
MARCI: “My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys” (Willie Nelson) — Sanjayjay with his hair slicked back, those big eyes all but disappearing under a 10-gallon Stetson as he peers coyly into the camera for his sweet and sassy rendition of Willie Nelson’s “My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys.” I don’t know why I chose that for him. The comedy factor, I think. I’m evil but can’t help myself where Sanjaya is concerned; think of me as Nero, fiddling while Rome burns.
BRANDON: “The Bluest Eyes In Texas” (Restless Heart) * — This is a do-or-die moment for Jaya Baby. Something too over the top (e.g. “Chattahoochee“) could finally exceed America’s fondness for the absurd. Something too timid might get lost in the shuffle. I’m opting for the latter. Hairstyle Request: Rough and ragged. More peach-fuzz mustache. *No clue who the band in this video is.
MARCI: “All Jacked Up” (Gretchen Wilson) — See LaKisha, dressed in tight jeans and skimpy saloon corset (I’M BLIND, I’M BLIND!) hopefully belting her way through Gretchen Wilson’s “All Jacked Up”. Oh yeah, if LaKiki will just … Do … Her … Thang. This song is meant for cuttin’ loose and beltin’ out. Please, LaKisha, wear something sensible, don’t run all over the stage, and wail like we know you can wail! Ya know you want to.
BRANDON GARCIA: “Walking In Memphis” (Marc Cohn/Lonestar [NOT their anemic arrangement]) — I read in an interview that LaKisha was looking to perform “I Will Always Love You” (originally by Dolly Parton) a capella at some point. This week would be the perfect opportunity, and even though that would be a windfall from God, I just can’t bear to recommend it. Might Try: “Heartland” (George Strait). Or not.
MARCI: “Daddy Sang Bass” (Johnny Cash) — And last and definitely least, Phil, in his farewell performance. See the white cowboy shirt, the cat’s eye bolo tie shimmering under the lights as he croons in his endearingly sincere way, “Daddy Sang Bass.” This Johnny Cash hit actually would play to Phil’s range. Could be a great choice, if he can keep the key.
BRANDON: “My Maria” (Brooks & Dunn) — Phil definitely needs something joyous to sing after giving us two weeks worth of obituary performances. He’s shown some capability for falsetto, plus this tune is chockful of his cherished big notes. And it’s a good opportunity to hide his Bram Stoker skull.
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MARCI: Yes, boys and girls, we are approaching Country Music night on American Idol. I, for one, will mosey on home from work on Tuesday, rustle up some grub and rest my achin’ puppies just in time to be transported to the music-lovers’ Land of Ahs.
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Thanks again to Marci for joining the Request Line. Tune in Wednesday morning for the Idol Chat judges’ review of Tuesday night’s performances.
Hello
You are The Best!!!
G’night