Will taco-flavored kisses from the “unstoppable force” that is Jennifer Lopez help our Top Ocho get in touch with their inner Menudo? As could be expected, Latin Week on American Idol turns out to be more Rico Suave than Celia Cruz. On the happy side, Idol Chat welcomes RGV Calendar Girl Deborah Flores, our guest judge for this week!
Deborah Gayle Flores is 25 years old, born and raised in Harlingen, Texas. Currently, she is a junior at UTPA, majoring in business marketing. She has a full-time job working for Love Copier Solutions. Her goal in life is to be a successful business owner. Her hobbies include working out, boxing and going to the park with her dog, Duke. Last yea, she competed in the Miss RGV pageant as well as the Miss Texas USA pageant. She is also Miss June for the Rio Grande Valley Calender Girls. In her spare time, she volunteers at schools, participates in the Relay for Life, and last but not least, spends time with her family and friends.
MARITZA HAMILL: I am curious to see the ruling of the queen of Latin herself, Jennifer Lopez. This episode may be interesting having all these gringos sing and act Latin. But hey I know it can be accomplished. We shall see … te-he….
GLORIA CHEEVER: Is it just me…or did ALL of the contestants seem like fish out of water this week?!
“Sway” (Dean Martin)
MARITZA HAMILL: The song was a good choice, but so typical Melinda. I love you Melinda, you’re good… but Simon is right with the whole the winner is going to have to WOW everyone. This week was the same as usual. SCORE: 7
J. CANTU & AMANDA: We don’t know if J-Lo’s advice on Melinda to be a little sexier was good. We hadn’t seen Melinda and sexy in the same sentence all season long, and it shouldn’t have happened tonight. Melinda can sing, but leave the sexiness to others. It look like she was to worried about the moves and it took away from her vocals … but just a little bit. Melinda IS Melinda and you can’t deny it. This was probably the worst performance she has presented all season, but it is still above the rest. We do remember Jennifer Hudson leaving after her 1st bad performance…. deja vu? NOT! SCORE: 7
GLORIA CHEEVER: I LOVE THIS SONG! I don’t know if I totally loved how she performed this, but I guess it was ok. It wasn’t her best, but she did have a fantastic vocal. SCORE: 7
DEBORAH FLORES: Great voice! I feel that the song did not bring out her personality, but she hit all pitches and overall good performance. SCORE: 7
BRANDON GARCIA: Hasn’t Melinda already sung this song? Hasn’t she been singing it for the past seven weeks? Aunt Melinda is looking better below the neck, even approaching seductive, but it all still feels like something on TMC — they may as well show all of her performances in black and white. Simon gave her some flak, but the backlash is probably a good cattle-prodding for her fans. SCORE: 6
“Conga” (Gloria Estefan) Watch the original
MARITZA HAMILL: NOOOOOOO!!! Not the gyrating bust bouncing out everywhere mess….. oh such a sweet dress and lovely hair and great makeup.. but not the dancing all over the place. Paula was right with the “safe” Lakisha thing. It is a cute song, but no vocal range to WOW at. SCORE: 7
J. CANTU & AMANDA: Lakisha, we had said last week we were getting bored with your performance, then you do something like this. This is NOT what we had in mind either. What was that Lakisha? Did she had fun doing her rendition? It did not show her vocals. Just a fun song, but she had trouble with it. Umm…she really can’t move like J-Lo, and she shouldn’t try that again. Be careful Lakisha…. SCORE: 5
GLORIA CHEEVER: She looked really uncomfortable the entire time she was singing. I agree with Paula and Simon that it wasn’t her best. I just haven’t been impressed with her since the very first performance that had the “wow factor.” I’m a little sad to say this, but I think she’ll be packing really soon. SCORE: 6
DEBORAH FLORES: Entertaining song. She has a great voice but needs to feel the rhythm of music more. SCORE: 6
BRANDON GARCIA: This song has, like, a three-note range — LaKisha’s rhythmless rendition highlighted that. Even Paula looked depressed trying to dance along. J. Lo advises, “Everything should feel natural.” The only natural thing in the performance was LaKisha’s obvious disappointment in herself — and LaMammaries. Time to taste the Bottom 3. SCORE: 4.5
“Smooth” (Santana featuring Rob Thomas) Watch the original
MARITZA HAMILL: Rob Thomas??? What are you doing singing off key? Oh my, this was really bad. Most people miss a few notes when they sing, this guy missed most of the notes and got a few notes right. Jennifer Lopez… snick, snick….. bad choice for him. Contrary to the judges opinions, we at home could hear the off tune vocals….. SCORE: 6
J. CANTU & AMANDA: Chris Timberfake. He keeps on doing the same thing over and over and over again. He does the same runs in every song he sings. When Rob Thomas did this song, he was accentuated with Santana’s masterful guitar playing, and they played off each other, voice and guitar. No Chris, you are far from doing anything close to this. You did not measure up to the band and it showed. The boy has not personality; we are seeing the same guy we saw at tryouts. SCORE: 4
GLORIA CHEEVER: I still think it was a little too low for him, but Mrs. Lopez-Anthony was right in bringing this up a whole step. I kinda liked this. He didn’t sing his best, but the dancing and delivery was exciting. It was the most promising performance so far. SCORE: 8
DEBORAH FLORES: Wow! What a cutie…Awesome voice!! I feel he started a little low on pitch but quickly fixed it. I would like to see him move a bit more to the music. SCORE: 9
BRANDON GARCIA: How Latin can you get if you’re having trouble saying “muñequita?” You can take the boy out of the boy band — Chris doing darker, grittier material is a good thing — but still, you can’t take the boy band out of the boy. Chris’ tame vocals made Rob Thomas’ version seem like Rob Zombie. Even so, it’s easily the best Chris has done so far. SCORE: 7.5
“Turn The Beat Around” (Gloria Estefan) Watch the original
MARITZA HAMILL: I am no longer going to call her Haley. Legs is her name. She has enough to give everyone a few feet. Legs shouldn’t have worn the red lipstick that made her look slightly cartoonish though. Fun song? Leg song is more like it. You go HALEY! Home that is. SCORE: 4
J. CANTU & AMANDA: San Antonio in the house….could have been the west side because that is where all the strip joints are. Those shorts keep getting smaller and smaller and smaller. The tops are not doing any better. Simon has finally called her out. Degarbo sang the same song to win second place on Idol, and Hailey did not come near the American Idol runner up. She is getting the Antonella vote and will keep her on this week. She sounded like a last minute gig your brother in law got for your wedding cause your DJ cancelled. If she would have shown up, I wouldn’t have paid her…maybe at the strip joint. Amanda thinks this is the end of the road for those shorts. Men are hoping Amanda is wrong! SCORE: 2
GLORIA CHEEVER: Props to her for getting all of those words in! I sort of liked this. It was a good performance considering that she is not one of the strongest singers in the competition. I think she did her best, and it was actually ok. SCORE: 7
DEBORAH FLORES: I feel that the song chosen did not complement her voice enough. She is a very attractive girl. I feel she struggled to keep up w/the words to the song. SCORE: 6
BRANDON GARCIA: Haley missed a bet by passing up the chance to Selena-cize herself. Instead she gave us her Meth-Tweaking Barbie routine. It was mildly amusing to watch her last bits of dignity vanish into another pair of hotpants. “Wear as least amount of clothes as possible,” Simon suggested. “And have fun.” Just the sort of star we should idolize, right? Let me hear an amen. SCORE: 4
“Maria Maria” (Santana) Watch the original
MARITZA HAMILL: Flatline….. For some reason I can always tell when he is going to what I consider ok. Yep it’s when he wears a hat, because you don’t get distracted with the crazy shiny head. Vocals were mmm’k. But I’m not in love with the whole thing. Yawn…ZZzzzzz SCORE: 6ish
J. CANTU & AMANDA: Phil, what is going on? Phil has not shown up to compete the last few weeks, he has just been lucky. J. believes this is the end of the road for Phil. He does not have ANYTHING that will keep him in this week. He was very empty tonight. The song did not help him either. What was that about the cow? He almost sealed with his rhetoric. Does not seem like he is into the competition anymore. SCORE: 2
GLORIA CHEEVER: Good thing he wore a hat again this week. This was a little boring for me, at least until the very end. The last few big notes were good. He sounds like he’s having some difficulties this week, though. I heard the voice crack a few times. Not his best performance, but it was still ok. SCORE: 7
DEBORAH FLORES: I feel that the song chosen was boring. Flat towards the end of the song as well as cracked voice. SCORE: 5
BRANDON GARCIA: Phil’s potential home-run was marred by a couple of unfortunate vocal cracks and a Jon Secada-esque song that’s basically musical wallpaper. Flashes of brilliance, the kind that gave J. Lo “goose pimples” (ew), peaked through a vague look of nausea painted on Phil’s face throughout the performance. Phil needs to thank the guitar player for adding the only spice in the song. SCORE: 6.5
“Rhythm Is Gonna Get You” (Gloria Estefan)
MARITZA HAMILL: Not love the song, but loved the outfit. The look was very pretty for her. She is proof that hair extensions are for everyone. But the song. Eh…. ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz Despite the lameness of it, she is still winning. I may be in last place but the only thing I may have right is choosing her as a winner. SCORE: 7
GLORIA CHEEVER: I could’ve done without the “shoulder shake,” but this was ok. I don’t even know if I really loved the big notes at the end. She, too, looked really uncomfortable while she was singing. SCORE:7
DEBORAH FLORES: Great performance! Very difficult song to sing and she hit all pitches. SCORE: 7
BRANDON GARCIA: Jordin forgot to take her Adderall this evening and was back to being insufferable, giving Seacrest bunny ears and giggling in her hyuck-hyuck way. Worse, she’s back to bleating her notes. Another dull dance performance from the LaKisha Discotheque collection. SCORE: 5
“I Need To Know” (Marc Anthony) Watch the original
MARITZA HAMILL: Is he pushing an accent??? What?? Te he….. I need to know? Tell me baby girl because I need to know. He needs to put the mike closer to his mouth because we lost him a bit. But I think he did a good job for the most part. Of course of the guys he’s my favorite, so even mistakes and all, I like him a lot. SCORE: 8
J. CANTU & AMANDA: Blake keeps getting better and better. Could this be THE GUY that is going to give the women trouble? If any guy is, it’s Blake. He was the only one tonight that was better than last week. Everyone else either stayed flat or took a step backwards. He made the song very hip and youthful. He has done that week after week and it seems to be working. It was another Lewis-esk week. SCORE: 7
GLORIA CHEEVER: I kinda knew Blake would do the best in this genre. This was a downright awesome performance! This was the best performance of the night! It was sexy, sultry, and full of flavor! SCORE: 10
DEBORAH FLORES: Definitely best overall performance … song very capturing to his voice. (Watch out Marc Anthony … Blake Lewis coming through!) SCORE: 7
BRANDON GARCIA: Blake made the mistake of stepping into Chris Richardson territory, picking an aggressively irritating song and trying to copulate with the camera. Looking like a boozy expatriate, Blake fell flat, his delicate vocals overwhelmed. He’s just too Middle America to be convincing as a Latin lover. A fan sign in the audience said it best: Shake N Blake. Now with mild salsa. SCORE: 5.5
“Bésame Mucho”
MARITZA HAMILL: Hmm, Marc Anthony? No it’s Prince?? No it’s Sanjaya. I must text right now. Besame mucho…. Como si fuera esta noche la ultima ves. He he he he….. Now that’s what I wanted to have a reason to text about!! YAY SANJAYA!!! SCORE: 7 oh yea baby
J. CANTU & AMANDA: Do we really need to talk about him and waste valuable space? Besamo no more Sanjaya…GO HOME! J’s petulance is getting worse and worse. Simon said it wasn’t horrible, compared to what. A headless chicken? He is just choosing the most ridiculous songs he can find in order to go with his clown image. He sounded like the guy with the organ at the local Spanish restaurant. SCORE: 1
GLORIA CHEEVER: This actually wasn’t that bad. But what’s up with the weird moustache? I wonder what the competition will be like if he’s voted off? He sure can bring some amusement and fun each week, whether his hair is on his head or his face. SCORE: 6
DEBORAH FLORES: Very sexy song! Low notes are a little off pitch but GREAT romance voice. SCORE: 9
BRANDON GARCIA: Ryan called Sanjaya “the embodiment of Latin passion,” but the joke was on him — this felt realer than any of tonight’s other performances to me. Some screw-ups aside, Sanjaya’s light touch was perfect for the song, and even his Spanish wasn’t half-bad. A solid, charismatic performance by the joke of the season — Sanjaya’s opponents should feel humiliated. SCORE: 7.5
MARITZA HAMILL: Mmmmmmmm… not bad, some good performances in this night. And when I say some i mean 2 people… Blake and … gulp… I can’t believe I am saying this, Sanjaya. Who said he suucked?? Hu hu? Who??? he he he…..
J. CANTU & AMANDA:We have no earthly idea why American Idol would chose J-Lo to give advice on a vocal competition. Every CD she has done has been mastered. Why don’t you think J-Lo hasn’t done a live tour? J-Lo cannot sing and much less give advice on singing. Her husband would have been the perfect guy for the Latin week. Now HE can sing. I hope American Idol does better. We think they are putting Sanjaya last so people will not leave after Sanjaya the anti-Christ sings. This is one of the worst Idols I have ever seen. Same reason the ratings are starting to decline.
MARITZA HAMILL: Blake
GLORIA CHEEVER: Blake Lewis
DEBORAH FLORES: Blake Lewis
BRANDON GARCIA: Sanjaya, no irony here. Chris comes close.
MARITZA HAMILL: Haley AGAIN!
GLORIA CHEEVER: LaKisha Jones
DEBORAH FLORES: Phil Stacey
BRANDON GARCIA: Haley, LaKisha nipping at her heels
MARITZA HAMILL: Haley Scarnato….. you guys know I’m actually right this time.
GLORIA CHEEVER: Ok, I’m going to make the stunning prediction..Lakisha Jones, then Haley
BRANDON GARCIA: Phil — I think he slipped permanently under the radar tonight. LaKisha and Haley are alternates.
DEBORAH FLORES: LaKisha Jones
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LaKisha?!?! The once-frontrunner gets two votes from the panel tonight. Who’s going home tomorrow? Check back at 8 p.m. Wednesday for live results.
Now I remember why, halfway into Season 2, I stopped watching American Trainwreck — until this season, when, beyond all reason, I tuned in again. It’s like stopping to look at a really bad car accident: You don’t WANT to, but you can’t bear NOT to.
The CIA should add Latin Night to its list of torture maneuvers — play mediocre music done badly. (Oh wait, they do that already.)
All told, Latin Night was fajitas with no salt. Gallo without the pico. A margarita without tequila. Sin sabor, mis chiquitos, sin saborrrr.
BLAKE probably was the least impossible of the night. Did I mention I don’t even like Blake?
PHILohPhilohPhil. Ditch the goofy headwarmer, bubba. Even when you wear it, we still hear the bad pitch, the weird phrasing, the lack of passion.
JORDIN. She can win this. But she has developed this breathiness thing that is all very amateur-night and annoying. Not my favorite, but I could live with her as a winner. I would never buy a CD of hers, but I wouldn’t want to hurl the TV set out the window, either.
SANJAYA the homeless. Did he look like street people last night or what. The scrubby ’stache, the greasy hair. The ugly T-shirt under the too-big jacket. It all screamed, “FEEL SORRY FOR ME AND VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE I CAN’T REALLY HOLD A TUNE BUT I WANT TO BE A STAR!!!” And please, Sanjayjay, stop flirting with the camera. It creeps me out in ways I can’t even begin to detail.
CHRIS. Still a cutie. Still marginally talented. Still predictable. Still in the running.
Wow! HALEY’s comet has a tail and she’s not afraid to shake it. She’s our good girl gone bad. Desperate, now, and so sad. Please stop singing, Haley. Just come out, rip off your clothes and shimmy. Then leave.
MELINDA needs to stop being so bland. She has a powerful voice, but she has washed all the pizzazz out of it. She did a horrible, whitebread version of ‘Sway.’ Sorry, but any Latina could have sung it with more fire by holding up a hairbrush mic, standing in front of the bathroom mirror in pink undies and belting it out to imaginary concertgoers. Come back, Melinda. We miss you.
LaKISHA, girl, what are you thinking?!? Stand still! Stop running (and jiggling) all over the place. Why sing ‘Conga’ when all that great Celia Cruz music is there for the plucking? With that powerful voice, you give us that mealymouth pap? You disappointed me greatly, Kiki, yet you are still my favorite. P.S. Hated the dress, loved the hair.
Like I said … no sabor. This session wasn’t Latin Night. It was Latin Lite.