The Monitor's American Idol Chat

“Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying Tonight” (Gerry and the Pacemakers) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Chris tried to shy away from the Justin thing, but he will not get out of the teeny bop thing. He is the centerfold in Tiger Beat magazine … is that still around? Chris once again chose a song that is very safe, does not show any vocals and he will rely on his looks to get ahead. He does not push the envelope. Sings and looks like he belongs in the boy band. I hear Menudo is making a comeback. The boys are so much more weaker than the weakest woman. SCORE: 5 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Guest coach Peter Noone (Herman) begged Chris Richardson to lay off the Timberlake. Chris obliged, and it made for a pleasing performance if not anything you’d mistake for “fun.” The song sounded like something playing over the loudspeakers at Dillard’s, and despite an earnest, mature rendition, Chris seems even more bereft of star quality when he can’t mimic his *NSYNC idol. Placing him next to the B.B. King-ish guitar player at the beginning made him seem even more like an amateur. SCORE: 6

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Yawn. I think I took a snack break. Sure he’s a good singer and did well, but if the judges say tonight was his best? Yikes. His song choice was safe, though pitchy at times, and overall made it through in one piece. But like the Gerry and Pacemakers, which could never quite catch up to the Beatles, Chris might not be able to catch up to the better singers in this competition. SCORE: 4 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: This song was a little boring, but I did like the guitar and the performance. This was definitely a different side to him. I have no comment on the vocal aspect of his performance. It wasn’t pushed — just a nice, controlled sound.  SCORE: 7 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: This guy needs to shave … call me old-fashioned, but the scruffy look is just not good. There are only few and far between who can pull it off. He needs to be bald by choice; it works for him. The song. No girlish screams here. I know he is a favorite, just not mine … SCORE: Lame out of 10

“You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me” (Dusty Springfield) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: What in the world happened? Did she not talk to the band during rehearsal? She was in a completely different key. Stephanie has been driven by her vocals, but the bottom came completely off tonight. The song was not what she needed. She needs to choose a soulful song. Sorry Stephanie, but there wasn’t any soul here. It really looked like her nerves overcame her. She did not perform like a person who is competing in American Idol. You are in trouble, Stephanie. SCORE: 4 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: Knowing full well where this runaway train was headed, Lulu stabbed Beyoncé in the eye by comparing her to Stephanie tonight. Stephanie sang this torch song as if she were having a tapeworm pulled yard for yard out of her stomach. From the first note, she looked petrified in her turquoise tube skirt; each moment she tried to abstain from bursting into her usual vocal-run orgasms was excruciating for both her and us. Season 4’s Nadia Turner did a bang-up job with this same song, and that fond memory only emphasized what a humiliating stumble this is for Stephanie. Just to make sure she doesn’t get any sleep tonight, Simon topped it all off by telling her “I think you’re losing your soul.” See, Steph? Don’t mock the Request Line. SCORE: 3.5 out of 10

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: I definitely have to agree with Simon tonight. Stephanie is a good singer but is slowly falling through the cracks. Maybe this week’s theme threw her off a bit, but it’s obvious she’s a great singer and she needs to bounce back in to the ring. It was an appropriate song choice, along the lines of Motown as Dusty Springfield was known for, but it wasn’t an earth-shattering performance. She’s safe, though. SCORE: 4.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: She looks beautiful! This gal is so classy (could’ve done without the boots, though). Her last note went a little sharp. The song is great — it just wasn’t a great choice for her. Not my favorite performance. SCORE: 6 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: She needed more air in her voice … not enough volume. She blends in like a smoothie. Nothing really separates her from the others. Kinda liked half of the outfit… but not enough to make this song GRRRRRR….. the big guys are going to begin to trample her sweet voice. SCORE: 6 out of 10

“Time of the Season” (The Zombies) Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Blake is starting to come around for the guys. If anyone has a chance, it is Blake. He made an old song sound cool again. Smooth and jazzy. We really liked Blake’s presentation tonight. He did not change it like last week, but did make it his own. We believe he has figured out what making it your own means. Good job. That song could be on the radio. He added his beat, but not too much, just enough to make it his own. We had to rewind and hear that twice. SCORE: 7 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: “Don’t let ‘the business’ get in the way of the song,” Peter Noone implored, but Blake brushed off his pleas and gave us more obligatory beatboxing and another arrangement that felt oddly empty. Blake fared a little better tonight, his performance drifting occasionally into mesmerizing before descending back into vertigo. I recommended this song for Stephanie (who’s crying now?), but Blake charged it with a hint of the wistful Morrissey-esque style he sometimes feels like sharing. Even with the neato Wonderbread-logo lighting, Blake sank under the weight of his poor lower register and his pitiful dancing. SCORE: 5.5. I docked him a whole point for that Elvis move similar to the one Brandon Rogers did last week, the one he’ll regret for the rest of his life.

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: And then there’s Blake. I’m really not sure what to think of this boy band clone. I like him, or don’t I? I just don’t know. For his rendition of “Time of the Season,” I was entertained and pulling for him but I got worried with the range. Blake’s got great style, a very contemporary and marketable look, but I’m over the whole beatboxing. He will be a force to be reckoned with, I’m afraid, in the coming weeks. His charisma will take him pretty far. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10 

GLORIA CHEEVER: This was so provocative in such a subtle way. I really liked how he makes the songs his own. He is one talented guy! The dancing didn’t hurt, either. SCORE: 9 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: “WHO’S YOUR DADDY? Is he rich like me?” Not bad Blake. You got me sick of the beep-pooping and practically wiped it out. Good call. And super good song choice. He was (as the DAWG would say) “In the zone.” Tonight I think was his best….. very likeable. And a cool-cat-daddy-O performance. SCORE: 8 out of 10

“Diamonds Are Forever” (Shirley Bassey) Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: LaKisha should have paid attention to the instructions she was given. She should have chosen the second song. The song she chose did not have the intensity she had on the previous weeks. She is LaKisha and she has a great voice, but her song did not help her any. She also took a step backwards with her wardrobe. It was “sing a ‘60s song,” not look like the ‘60s. Good attempt, but we know she can do a whole lot better. SCORE: 7 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: LaKisha once again showed her utter disregard for the guest coach’s opinion by choosing this song over the one Lulu thought she should sing — unlike last week, it was a good move. This characteristically trippy theme from one of the early 007 movies gave LaKisha a chance to be someone other than Jennifer Hudson, producing some mixed results in the process. Her seldom-heard deeper notes were soothing but wildly off-pitch at one point. And even though she looked fetching in — you guessed it — lots of diamonds and a green dress that barely kept her mammoth breasts from crushing the audience, there were moments when she simply seemed absent. I liked the change of pace, but I wish she would’ve added more of her bawdy Miss Piggy outbursts to the mix. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Absolutely adored her song choice (and of course it reminded me of Kanye West’s version) but again, I agree with Simon. She aged a few decades and became this overzealous lounge singer-minus being draped on a piano. LaKisha has a set of pipes and competitive talent. She’s got to maintain that ‘wow’ factor to stay on top. Otherwise, Melinda will sniper her out of the competition. SCORE: 7 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: She looks beautiful! I love how this was presented — the lights, her jewelry. I don’t think it was her absolute best, but even on a bad day she can sound sensational. SCORE: 8 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT…….{{{{{TA TA TA TA TA}}}}}}}}…..007 at your service! As soon as I heard this song I dropped to the floor and began slithering across my tweed throw rug…. Looked up with a devilish half grin and then realized that my friends were not impressed… “wHaT tHe hEcK are you doing Maritza,” one asked as he sipped his SlimFast martini with a twist of marshmallow (don’t dare ask). Although I felt invincible for a second, LaKisha was, dare I say, not … to the judges. She picked a cool song, but a song that indeed made her sound old. Sorry Lakey, you get a … SCORE: 7 out of 10

 “Tobacco Road” (Nashville Teens) Watch the original 

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Everyone in this competition has a nook that is helping them push through the weeks; unfortunately, Phil does not. He did not choose a good song this week. His vocals had been better every week, but this song did not explore his vocals. Was a super fun song, but those are the ones people sing on their way out of American Idol. Phil is not a rocker and shouldn’t attempt to be one. We believe Phil is going home this week. We don’t see anything keeping him in this week. Sorry Phil. SCORE: 4 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: In the past Phil has reminded me of Steve Buscemi and Gizmo, but tonight it felt like watching the skeleton from A Nightmare Before Christmas trying to rock a blues revival. Phil was corny and manic where he needed to be smooth and nasty, and his “gritless” voice was neutered by the B.B. King lookalike guitar player. His voice works best with middle-of-the-road soft rock, plus he’s one of more rough-around-the-edges contestants who could benefit from a few more weeks to find his footing. As much as he’s grown on me, I think it’s back to sailing the ocean blue in an ice-cream parlor uniform for Phil after tomorrow. SCORE: 4

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Next. Seriously folks, when will this torture end? He’s a decent singer and picked an OK song but he stepped outside of his wholesome box and pretty much eased his way out the door. He has no style and lacks the edge needed to channel your inner rockstar. I’m afraid he’s a goner. SCORE: 3.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: I don’t like his outfit tonight. However, week after week, I comment on how much I like his voice. He has great technique! It’s never pushed. I hope he doesn’t go home. I think he has lots of potential. SCORE: 6.5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: Beam me up, Scottie … you’re going home, Spock. Phil singing with backup singers. Phil screwing up the backup singers groove. Not the best choice of song. This guy kinda creeps me. He is soooo hit or miss. I am not impressed, just a bit freaked out. SCORE: 3 out of 10

“I Who Have Nothing” (Shirley Bassey) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: This is the person to watch out for. Women are so much more powerful than the men. She really listened and turned this song into a winner. She can sing! Her notes were so much in control and so smooth. Her great personality doesn’t hurt either. Awesome, Jordin! SCORE: 8 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: I’m just going to pretend Jordin never said the song that most described her as a human being is “I’m So Excited” by The Pointer Sisters. Jordin played for keeps tonight with a passionate performance that was miles ahead of the juvenile Disney retreads she’s done in the past. Even though she hasn’t been my favorite contestant, I predicted last week that she’s going to win this year, and tonight she managed to both confirm my forecast and suggest that she deserves it. She showed her immense skills as a singer, met the melodramatic song on its level and hinted at something resembling artistic vision. Or maybe the flat-ironed hair just threw me off. SCORE: 8.5 out of 10

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Love her! Hands down my absolute favorite. Jordin could’ve opted for a much cuter outfit, though she looked dazzling nonetheless. Her song, performed by the great Tom Jones, Shirley Bassey and Ben E. King, was moving and although dark, a tremendous performance. Simon says it was depressing (and it was) but tears will get you everywhere! With Jordin, she could be singing about the end of the world and I would love it. I truly believe she is Melinda’s biggest competition. SCORE: 8.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: She’s so beautiful! This was once again a fantastic vocal from her. There’s lots of power in that young voice. I’m glad she’s picking songs that show off her voice because I didn’t realize how exquisite her sound is until last week. SCORE: 9 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: WHO’S YOUR DADDY! Your still Maritza’s favorite since day uno! Woooo-whoo! The new hairdo make her look like a pretty version of Ugly Betty. I normally don’t like them ballads, but oh dear this one was one to hear again. She is winning this game, she has found her voice. SCORE: 9 out of 10

“You Really Got Me” (The Kinks) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Not matter what Sanjaya does now, there is no way he can pull out of this. Who was this and what did you do with Sanjaya? It almost sounded like someone else. Don’t get us wrong, it is still as awful as ever, just a different awful. Is lip-syncing allowed on AI? It almost looked like it. Sanjaya, GO HOME! The little girl crying is what is keeping him in week after week. There is no way we could ever put a song by him on the radio. Ya! SCORE: 3 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: “Crocodile Rock” by John Stevens. “Cry Ev’ry Mountain” by Anthony Federov. They left us sitting bewildered in front of our televisions, stunned at seeing human civilization sink to a new low, disturbed and exhilarated by the unrivaled joy we felt at being there to see it. And now, “You Really Got Me” by Sanjaya Malakar. Tonight, America’s favorite androgynous matinee idol gave us what will come to be known as the zenith of bad A.I. performances. The producers chucked the show’s last morsel of credibility into the bonfire and gave us exactly what we wanted: Sanjaya as the night’s “rocker;” Sanjaya completely abandoning the melody for a stupefying howl; but most of all, Ashley, her wide eyes alight with transcendence. Forget that it would have been jaw-dropping for any non-Idol watcher who just happened to flip the channel. Forget that it’s a huge step forward for Sanjaya, who countered weeks of whispered ridicule by dropping an atom bomb on America. “I think the little girl’s face said it all,” Simon said. Folks, this is as good as it gets. SCORE: 8 out of 10. “8?!” you ask. Trust me. This was a classic.

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Does his mother know he’s playing “rockstar” tonight? Pobre. OK, so he broke out of his shell a bit, but he butchered one of the best Kinks songs ever. I think we’ve come to a point where we don’t pay much attention to this young singer, hoping his turn will be up soon. Trust me, it will be soon. SCORE: 3.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: Well, this was much better, but still a little scary. It was pushed, but his performance has improved somewhat. He still has a lot of work to do, but at least we could hear him this week. SCORE: 5 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: …………….. Howard Stern, stop it already. OK, OK … now I think I want to even vote for this guy. Sanjaya, you need to send Howard a big basket of dollars and beer. His little fan in the audience is the crazy now. But oh soo cute… this guy has the vote. Heck if he ran for president … OK I wont go there. SCORE: 5 for making his fans cry of happiness out of 10  

“Paint It Black” (The Rolling Stones) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Our rocker girl. She is still trying to prove she is a rocker, and too much at that. We know you rock, Gina, show us something else in that leather. It was very high energy, and we know this was a rock song, but too much of a rock song for AI. Tone it down a bit and show us what you can do. You are very good and have seen better. SCORE: 5 out of 10 BRANDON GARCIA: Gina did her best to “devour” the Rolling Stones’ “Paint It Black” as Lulu suggested. I would have chosen “Gimme Shelter” for some depth, but she couldn’t have asked for a better tune to establish her image as the goth-rock chick. Gina’s performance proved once again how difficult it is to do rock on Idol. Like Phil but not as bad, Gina lost track of the melody amid the blaring noises of the band on overdrive. Simon noted that some parts were “moments of complete torture,” and while that phrase makes me smile, I didn’t agree, and I thought she did a superb job with the end. SCORE: 7 out of 10. I should dock a half-point for meeting her criticisms with the standard “Well, I had fun” answer, but oh well.MIRIAM RAMIREZ: I think Gina forgot she could sing. And unfortunately channeling her inner Rolling Stone didn’t help much. With Gina, Simon says it’s style over content and I somewhat agree, but just because she’s got a few red highlights and a couple studs in her belt doesn’t mean she’s gotta be the next Joan Jett. I think Gina is confused about what direction she should take musically. She has a few more shows on her side but Gina is no American Idol. SCORE: 4.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: The vocal was good — but I didn’t love the performance. I think she should’ve taken it up still another half step. She had a hard time on the low notes. I like Gina — I hope she stays. SCORE: 6 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: Bad girl. Bad song choice … bad, bad, bad. Yeah this is up her alley, but sang so wrong. Off key, and out of tune. I wanted to smack her with a big mop named Sanjaya. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, no. SCORE: 4 out of 10

“She’s Not There” (The Zombies) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Thank god the glasses are back. We don’t know what he was trying to do. We are still on the Chris bandwagon, but it’s time to turn it up a notch. C’mon, Chris. Use the stage; you don’t have to high five everyone. Show us some power behind that voice. It is lacking. Our Chris is back, but he is starting at the beginning and has to work this way up again. SCORE: 6 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: My advice for Chris S. was to get over himself when he takes the stage, and he listened. He’s the first contestant this year to perform entirely on a cheesy promenade through the audience. While he loses himself on the bombastic chorus (as he’s done before), he voice is note-perfect on the verses, and it’s a very good fit for the song. And while I didn’t feel one note of sadness in Chris’ rendition of this lovelorn tune, I did appreciate the return of his snarky attitude. SCORE: 7.5 out of 10. A free half-point for “Bring Chubby Back.”

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Doing a Zombies song is tough, so I’ll give Fro Patrol some credit. But Chris to me is one of those performers that needs a few more years to hone in on his talent (meaning sing in a few cover bands to realize he has some talent). I liked him a lot at the beginning of the season but he hasn’t done much for me lately. He can carry a tune well and seems like a wonderful person so I hope he’s not given the boot just yet. He’s too nice. (I wish I was) SCORE: 4 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: This was OK for me. The song showed off his voice — but it still wasn’t my favorite. He is a great singer, though. SCORE: 5.5 out of 10 

MARITZA HAMILL: Singing= good, Boring= yes… I thing this guy is good but is a flatline. No more standing out in a good way. He’s not going to make it to the end because he is not eye candy. I like his song choice very much so, but the American Idol vote is just not strong enough for this guy. ttfn…. SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

“As Long As He Needs Me” (From Oliver!) Watch the original

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: WOW! What can we say about Melinda? She is somewhere else. She should not be in this competition because it’s not fair for the others. She is a woman among kids. She wraps you in her voice like a used San Marcos blanket. She really kicks it up a notch a là Emeril. We are so excited to see what else she has coming. Melinda … you rock! SCORE: 9 out of 10

BRANDON GARCIA: “Me? Talented?” I’m no longer buying Melinda’s aw-shucks act. She’s easily the best singer in the crowd and it’s impossible to believe that she doesn’t realize that, especially when everyone — the viewers, the judges, the media — is talking about her. Tonight she gave her weakest performance yet, which in perspective is still light years beyond some of her opponents’ best work. And not coincidentally, she was meeker than ever, even adding a dash of The Goonies’ Sloth to her incredulous face. She claimed she was out of her comfort zone, but this is a Broadway/cabaret song over 40 years old — how is it any different than anything else she’s sung? How does this torch song even count as British Invasion material? Melinda is playing the Idol game: She absolutely must seem like an underdog if she hopes to win. No one in their right mind would wear that hideous gray smock on national television without an ulterior motive. It made her boobs look like really high lonjas. If that isn’t enough to earn her personal “stylist” a trip to the gallows, I don’t know what is. SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: I like the sign in the audience tonight, “Melinda Do Lots” which explains to what height Melinda will go in her career. She owns this competition, vocally, but the question still remains if Melinda can carry herself off the stage too. As Idols, they have to be charming, energetic and steal the spotlight … with Melinda I want to shake her up a bit and tell her to buy some confidence on the way in. Modesty is one thing; sheepish personalities are best left for backup singers. (Gosh I’m on a rampage tonight, people). Melinda has nothing to worry about (except her wardrobe) which means she will be around until the deciding vote. SCORE: 8.5 out of 10

GLORIA CHEEVER: What was she doing as a back-up singer?! Lord, this girl can sing! Week after week, she comes back and just brings it! Boring song turned fabulous! I think she’s going to take this. I love how you can see the story in her eyes — that makes a good performer great. SCORE: 9 out of 10

MARITZA HAMILL: She is a good singer, yes we have established this. In a league of her blah…. The best blah….. Come on Melinda….. gimme some funky crazy song… not this beautifully predictable bologna. And the surprised looks…. Sigh…. Stop.. or you’re getting some Sanjaya slaps too. SCORE: 7 out of 10  MIRIAM RAMIREZ: I have to say I wasn’t too disappointed tonight. I consider myself a pretty tough pseudo-judge (as if I have any singing experience) but being around music nearly all of my life, I know what I want to hear. I want to be entertained and I want singers to convince me that they are as passionate as their audience. I worry some of these guys and gals are trying too hard to impress and forgetting about their passion for music. Though I agree with Simon about 99.9 percent of the time, being the best singer isn’t ALWAYS the deciding factor. I know it’s early, but some of these people don’t have that “star” quality…and I hope they can prove me wrong. Melinda is by far, the best vocalist … but Jordin has charisma and it’s easy to fall in love with her. These two will go head-to-head in the end…

BRANDON GARCIA: Jordin Sparks, for connecting with me on a (relatively) emotional level. Several others who were just as good.

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Jordin Sparks, Melinda Dolittle

GLORIA CHEEVER: Jordin Sparks

BRANDON GARCIA: Stephanie

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Phil Stacey, Sanjaya Malakar, Gina Glocksen

GLORIA CHEEVER: Sanjaya Malakar

J. CANTU & AMANDA FLORES: Phil is going home.

BRANDON GARCIA: Phil. Each year we get one “terrible” singer in the Top 12, and in the past they’ve usually been sent home the week they did their best. But Sanjaya’s performance lies beyond the boundaries of logic, and I think he’ll survive. Sucks for Phil.

MIRIAM RAMIREZ: Phil Stacey or Sanjaya Malakar

GLORIA CHEEVER: Gina or Sanjaya

MARITZA HAMILL: Gina Gina Bo Beana

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The Idol Chat judges are split between Gina, Sanjaya or Phil to head home tomorrow. Come back at 7:30 p.m. for live results. Much thanks to Miriam Ramirez.