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CLIPS!
She’s playing it so cool it’s not even funny. She’s got everyone fooled into thinking she is this shy little thing, but one look at her on stage and you know she’s a pro. Match that with her soulful, gravelly voice and you’ve got a Top 5 contestant, easy.
Request Line: “Little Red Corvette” (Prince), “Sledgehammer” (Peter Gabriel), “This Woman’s Work” (Maxwell/Kate Bush)
Don’t Even Think About It: “Work It Out” (Mary J. Blige)
Doesn’t she look 10 times better on the right than the left in the picture above? She told us she wasn’t going, and she was right. She’s riding the larger-than-life-soul-queen train that Jennifer Hudson is conducting, and it seems like everyone’s on board at the moment. She definitely needs to burn that black ensemble she’s wearing on the left and anything else in her closet that’s similar.
Request Line: “Piano In The Dark” (Brenda Russell), “Free Your Mind” (En Vogue), “Autumn Leaves” (Eva Cassidy)
Don’t Even Think About It: “I’m Every Woman” (Whitney Houston) Or anything from Whitney for that matter. Or Aretha. Or Mariah. Or Patti LaBelle.
I’d sacrifice a young goat if it meant I’d never have to hear Blake do his beat box stuff again. Unfortunately, I know the sound effects will be back this week — it’s his gimmick, along with “hip” outfits straight out of the Zwinky factory. The Blake we saw Tuesday, the one who nailed a tender indie folk ballad in a preppie-yet-stylish sweater vest, won’t likely show his face often enough, but still: Now we know the guy can sing if he wants to, and that he’s a natural on this stage.
Request Line: “Hallelujah” (Jeff Buckley), “Missing You” (John Waite), “Cool” (Gwen Stefani)
Don’t Even Think About It: “This Love” (Maroon 5)
Bouncy bimbo-in-the-making Jordin is the requisite Star Search prodigy of the group. The pep squad bit has me rolling my eyes, but she’s definitely a singer who belongs on American Idol. You’re a star now, Jordin — put the Little Debbies away for good!
Request Line: “Money Changes Everything” (Cyndi Lauper), “Escape” (Enrique Iglesias), “How Will I Know” (Whitney Houston)
Don’t Even Think About It: “How Do I Live” (LeAnn Rimes)
Dorkboy hero Chris makes up for his resemblance to Shrek with a killer voice, the best out of all the dudes. He seems hilarious only because everyone else has the personality of a Hallmark card, but I’ll take anything as long as I don’t have to hear any more “I want to be the next American Idol because I want to inspire people” dribble.
Request Line: “Another Day In Paradise” (Phil Collins),” “One of Us” (Joan Osborne)
Don’t Even Think About It: “Lady” (Kenny Rogers)
American Idol’s answer to Daria seems to know how to play the game, kind of like Season 2’s Kimberly Caldwell, who followed her dream all the way to the TV Guide Channel. Her voice is solid and her butchy look is refreshing, I guess, but she is not the sort of girl Carrie Underwood would sit next to in class. And since teenage girls own this show, that should give Gina something to worry about.
Request Line: “I Will Never Be The Same” (Melissa Etheridge), “What’s Up” (4 Non Blondes), “Gimme Shelter” (The Rolling Stones)
Don’t Even Think About It: Celine Dion, EVER AGAIN
Vote for the Worst, an Idol fansite that encourages viewers to push for the least talented contestant, has already crowed this guy champion of this season, and rightly so. Every time Sundance takes the stage, it feels Chernobyl — an utter meltdown leading to my slow, agonizing death. And yet according to dialidol.com, a site that measures voting based on the telephone busy signals, he received more votes than any of the guys. Sundance, welcome to the proud tradition of the Profoundly Awful Idol Contestant. Still, I hold out hope that the smoky blues brother he showed in his first audition might make a comeback one of these days. It’s fun to wish.
Request Line: “Walking In Memphis” (Marc Cohn), “Feelin’ Alright” (Joe Cocker)
Don’t Even Think About It: Anything song that would make you perspire
Mr. All-America background singer instantly proved as bland as he appeared to be. The fact that he made “Rock With You” seem even older and more tedious than it is was more surprising. He really needs a winner this week, or else it’s back to being Christina Aguilera’s window dressing. I’m hoping for the latter.
Request Line: ”Eternal Flame” (The Bangles), “Take A Bow” (Madonna)
Don’t Even Think About: Two horrible words: R. Kelly
First the good news, Sabrina: You’ve got a terrific voice, awesome hair and a great bod. Now, the bad: Your face has got to go. There’s not much you do about it in the mean time, so just keep the sex factor high and pick more recognizable songs. You’re not going to win, but play it cool, play it smart, and you might go far.
Request Line: “Escapade” (Janet Jackson), “Love At First Sight” (Kylie Minogue), “Fantasy” (Mariah Carey), “You’re Makin’ Me High” (Toni Braxton)
Don’t Even Think About It: Any song that would require you to wear an evening gown and diamonds
I re-listened to his Tuesday night performance, and beyond that hilarious beginning, it was actually a lot better than I remember it. He appears to have a truly wretched taste in music, which will catch up with him eventually.
Request Line: “Higher Love” (Steve Winwood), “More Than A Feeling” (Boston)
Don’t Even Think About It: Anything Clay Aiken ever sang
Go here immediately: http://www.myspace.com/marktwang. Back? See? She sounds amazing. Why did she suck so bad last week? Who knows … nerves, maybe. But Leslie’s got some mad skills — she deserves a couple of more chances to prove it. Plus, I think this season wouldn’t be the same without that psychotic glint in her eye. Love ya, Les!
Request Line: “Love And Affection” (Joan Armatrading), “My Baby Just Cares For Me” (Nina Simone), “Fast Car” (Tracy Chapman), “All Is Full of Love” (Björk)
Don’t Even Think About It: Anything that ever cracked the Billboard Top 10 Singles
The guy might have wet himself he was so nervous Tuesday night, but his tone is natural and unaffected, and he’s got an endearing aw-shucks personality to back it up. Basically Elliott Yamin-lite, but that’s still better than most everything his opponents have to offer.
Request Line: “Mad World” (Gary Jules), “Fields of Gold” (Sting)
Don’t Even Think About It: No R&B, none, zip, and nothing older than 25 years
A N D T H O S E W H O W O N ‘ T
She’s the Dreamgirl who wasn’t Beyoncé or Jennifer Hudson.
How She Gets Eliminated: She keeps playing the jazz/Broadway card until people under 60 stop voting for her.
Song That Could Save Her: “You Gotta Be” (Des’ree)
Good-by-comparison first performance was a ruse. His hip-hop affectations and squealy voice grow irritating beyond comprehension.
How He Gets Eliminated: His version of “I Swear” is so revolting he cries after Simon rips him to shreds.
Song That Could Save Him: “She Will Be Loved” (Maroon 5)
More and more it’s like Rachel from Friends with Phoebe’s singing voice.
Butcher For My Pleasure: “Alone” (Heart)
Already the laughingstock of the group for her pitiful sining, she’ll probably get disqualified for her latest exploits in erotic photography.
Butcher For My Pleasure: “At Seventeen” (Janis Ian)
Remember him? Me either.
Butcher For My Pleasure: “I Will Always Love You” (Whitney Houston)
Never really there in the first place — just sort of a figment of our imagination.
Butcher For My Pleasure: “Sexual Healing” (Marvin Gaye)
Haley Scarnato: It’s back to the San Antonio International Family Choir with you, Haley!
Butcher For My Pleasure: “Sk8er Boi” (Avril Lavigne)
Wouldn’t be bad if this were 1992 and if American Idol were called The New Mickey Mouse Club.
Butcher For My Pleasure: “Jenny From The Block” (Jennifer Lopez)
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Will my predictions hold true? Check out Idol Chat on Wednesday morning to see how the guys did in Round Two.
